pinakidion.*

To Honor My Father
Even though I live half a nation away, I will forever remember my home is by the sea: I am the son of a son of a fisherman. My ancestors were fishermen, pirates, explorers and soldiers – sometimes they were all four at the same time. Like me, they travelled the world and sought its wonder only to return again to a familiar shore. Thank you Dad for giving me a sense of my heritage.

To Honor My Mother
Who knows the boundaries of love? Where is the rule that can measure its length and width and breadth? If such a device came to be, your love would be the gold standard and mine a lesser copy to calibrate it by. Some have said I care for others, but only because of your example of love for me. Thank you Mom for giving me a heart.

To Honor My Brother and Best Man
Troubles often befall a man, it is the way of this life. Sometimes they cannot be avoided, sometimes a man brings them on himself. Through all the many troubles I’ve had of both kinds, you have defended me and kept me from harm. I hope to fight for others at least half as much as you have fought for me. Thank you Chris for protecting me from many things, especially myself.

To Honor My True Friend
Adventure comes in many forms and we have had a few. We have travelled to exotic locations, we’ve gone into business together, and we’ve shared a few tears along the way, but we’ve always been able to give our friends a smile. I get easily distracted by the latest shiny thing, but our friendship will endure long after they are gone. I pray to be a steadfast friend that never runs away from hardship. Thank you Shane for being my true friend, especially when I didn’t deserve it.

To Honor My Wise Friend
The way a man lives will determine his destiny and eternal fate, the life of his family shapes the destiny and fates of many others. It is good and right to be generous, fair, hospitable and gracious, but without love, these virtures fall to the ground like overripe apples. I would not continue to pursue these and other virtues without the council of your wisdom. I hope to imitate your life, your heart, and your family. Thank you Jeff for being a light to guide my steps.

To Honor the Pure of Heart
The world is full of color and beauty waiting to be discovered. In every day, there are untold wonders that surround us in a dizzying array of sense and perception. God created everything that can be known on Earth and he declared it good. In every event where we’ve shared time, I am amazed at the ease and joy you eagerly share with others. I pray to enjoy every moment as precious, but with the ease of one that trusts God is good in all situations. Thank you Bryon for your boundless joy, it is a tremendous encouragement to me.

To Honor a Fellow Worker
Every man has a talent, but not every man has a heart. Diagnostic tools abound to plumb the depths of skill and craft, but there is no tool for the heart. Many men that never find their heart, much less give it away once unearthed. For all your hard work for those on your watch, let me remind you: Heart will always trump talent every time, no question. Give me ten men with heart and I will show you true talent. I pray to be as devoted to what is right as you despite all accusations of failure. Love never fails. Thank you Jason for working so hard with me to teach the Word of God.

I’m off to get married. I’ll probably have no inclination to write anything for quite a while.

• Thanks to Laryssa for being my best friend and confidant.
• Thanks to my friends from all over.
• Thanks for our gifts - The Ocean Blue placesettings are nice, but we don’t need more of them. You could get the coffee pot. It’s fully automatic and programable, just add roasted coffee beans.
• Thanks to my friend and minister that continues to help me deal with my past, my present and my future.
• Thanks to Jeff who has given me great counsel.
• Thanks to my good friend and business partner for being patient with me while we figure out how to build our business.
• Thanks to Laryssa’s Dad for doing SO much to make the wedding happen.
• Thanks to my parents who have helped a lazy person like me actually move my stuff and provide emotional support when the details really stressed me out.
• Glory be to God that he has blessed me with so many that care and with one that is closer than a brother.

Will I write about the Bible Study Tour? Maybe. I hope to have pictures for everyone on our website - johnandlaryssa.com, if nothing else. We got a new digital camera, so it will be fun to try it out.

I’m sure in the coming weeks, I’ll write a lot less about church and more about my writing and teaching, at least I hope so. It’s therapeutic to bear my soul to the world wide web, but there’s nothing really new to write about that. Besides, as far as my writing goes, there’s a backlog of ideas for my fantasy world. Think of a battery that stores magic, you’ll never believe what powers it. I’ll give you a hint, they’re also good for fishing.

Anywho, visit salguod.net for really insightful articles in the meantime. He’s a neat guy with a lot of insight. He writes more to explore God as opposed to my site that serves as a scratchpad.

Much love to my friends in Raleigh. I hope to see you in the Spring.

Below is a link to map that will allow you to get a general overview of where the dinner will be as well as provide the exact address.

I’m also including a picture that shows the dinner location in relation to the wedding location. Click on the picture to get a full-size image. The red star is the rehersal dinner location. The blue star is the wedding location.

I truly believe that God is doing something wonderful in my life and moving me into the next major change in my walk with him.

Getting married is a large part of it, but not the only part of it.

Looking back at my last AG meeting, though, I don’t feel a sense of loss. The church voted on deacons that would take the place of some members of the AG. I was voted as one of those deacons, but I turned the nomination down. It was not at all because of my upcoming marriage, despite what others have said. It was because I am not objective with the needs of my congregation. I am still hurt my many things in my past and despite all kinds of study, counseling, and prayer, I am still very angry and very upset. I cannot talk about certain topics that are important without a major emotional reaction. Keeping that reaction under control is so draining that it takes away from my relationship with Laryssa and with God, himself.

I had promised myself some time ago that church would never get in the way of my relationships ever again and I was going back on that promise. The right course of action was clear, even though I didn’t want to admit it.

More importantly, when Laryssa and I started reading His Needs, Her Needs, it talked about doing things together and the dangers of leading markedly separate lives. The AG was something she could not share with me directly, because I was elected to the AG while I was single. It took me over a week to emotionally prepare for each meeting and a couple of days afterwards to overcome the intensity of it and the embarassment for feeling like I overreacted to how I thought the meeting would preside. Being new here, she wouldn’t have been nominated for AG in quite a while, if at all. I shared everything with her and she provided wonderful insight, but it was a once or twice a month three hour block of time where we had to be apart. In addition, it was something that dominated my thinking and energy for the better part of each month.

Therefore, in choosing between church and marriage, it was easy to choose my marriage. She would willingly be there for me because she loves me. She had even hoped to be at meetings with me. However, it’s just not worth it. Again, my relationships are more important than the church I attend. Besides, now I have the time and energy to devote to things I love and I can share with her: her writing, my teaching, and Clerry Computers.

As far as the meeting itself, well, this is one time I felt like I didn’t overreact, but I have to let go of the lonliness of being a minority of one. We are going to form small groups again, and due to the failure of voluntary methods to form them, the method is going to be somewhat arbitrary, but not 100% arbitrary. I know that small groups are not a bad thing and that it will help meet needs, but it just feels like we are going backwards and not forwards.

My only real objection is that all we know within the ICoC, no matter how progressive, is having small groups with leaders that report to group leaders that report to evangelists that report to the lead evangelist. Without very clear direction to the substance and polity of these groups, we will revert back to this. With all the good intentions in the world, we’ll go back to it because it is all we know how to do. Other churches have small groups, but if we don’t ask them how they do it, we’ll go back to what we used to have because it is all we know.

Unfortunately, I don’t know how to do it differently either, and it’s been almost two years since we have had arbitrary small groups. It feels like something needs to be done to help members of our chruch, and I would rather do something than do nothing. It’s all a part of taking risks and this is a TREMENDOUS risk.

I will not be a part of these small groups any time soon, but I support the decision of the AG to bring them back. I resent the forced nature of it and have grown accustomed to what I do now to help others and receive help from others. I remember much too strongly the misery of my previous small group experiences and I do not want to go back to it. I may simply attend church elsewhere - my memories of small group dynamics and polity are that strong and painful.

I have forgiven the men and women that were a part of it. When I remember these things, I do not conjure up any animosity towards an individual. I do not say, “I wish that So-and-So hadn’t done that!” My memories, pain, and grief of these experiences are more abstract than that. It is an unhealed wound and a malignant sadness. It is not the kind of soreness resulting from a healing muscle or ligament, it is a pain that comes from a direct injury to bone.

For that reason, I trust that it is healing, but it really doesn’t feel like it sometimes. I want to stop hurting and I want to go back to my life. Instead, I hurt and this is despite the fact that everything that can be done to treat it is being done. Ultimately, though, it just takes time and I’m afraid that I am too impatient. More specifically, I believe that it just shouldn’t take me this long to get over it. I wish that I could chart the progression of healing and at least see a positive direction. I wish I could honestly say that I am better than I was a year ago, two years ago, but I cannot express the differences.

Until that time, I keep going. God is with me, even when I am wrong. After all, he saved me when I fought against him directly, how much more will he do as I struggle to be close to Him? As I have written earlier, I am confident that He will point out my errors to me in many diverse ways. Like Abraham, I am not certain of my destination, but I know that somewhere along the journey, I will be changed.

It’s been a wild and wonderful week. I get married in 5 days. I am truly looking forward to it. I got a great gift Saturday night that has helped me to look forward to these upcoming days. More on that later, for now, I just need to verbalize some things that rattled around my brain before that time.

In many ways, I just want the ceremony to be over. Getting prepared for the ceremony and making arrangements for the ceremony prevented us from doing a lot of things together. It turned our relationship into a deadline and took away the ease we had. We had ease of communication, ease of schedule - if we wanted to do something, we did, if we wanted to go dancing, we did. Now, it’s an endless parade of meetings and coordinators and details and stress. I cannot wait for it to be over.

Granted, it will be a beautiful ceremony. She did a great job of creating a ceremony that is beautiful, touching, and unique. I will enjoy taking part in it as something that is uniquely ours, not hers. I have had fun planning parts of it and some of the details give me a good block of time to think of her while she is away.

I am glad that folks in MN are stepping in and taking things off her plate. Our caterer is simply wonderful. I’ve eaten her cooking before and it is exquisitie. Her ability to put things together is wonderful as well. She is the coolest.

Her Dad has done an incredible amount of work for this weekend: I’ve told him this repeatedly. He paid for the wedding, he is hosting the rehearsal dinner, he is just taking care of all of it. Tis really wonderful.

My Mom is great, too. She’s in town with me this week to do some moving and packing. Most of all, she is emotional support so that I don’t go crazy. I’m glad she’s here, even if it was a full day earlier than I expected.

Other than that, I have to say that my groom-honoring (or whatever it’s called these days) was a lot of fun. We watched NC State play football (although I was upset about the final score), we ate Chili intended for Neaderthals and we demolished a three foot sub, we had a good time. I have to say, though, that my gift from Victor was the best of all:

I thought it strange that I had to go outside to receive this gift, but I played along. When he said I had to close my eyes, I should’ve known that something was afoot, especially when he added that I had to count to three. At the count of two, I felt my life flash before me, but since I had my eyes closed, I didn’t see anything. When I opened my eyes, I tried to figure out the strange shape before me only to realize it’s contents a moment later.

I was hit in the face with a lemon meringue pie.

I still laugh when I think about it, because it fits in with a way of life I have tried to embrace my whole life, namely, that I don’t take myself too seriously. Since getting hit with that pie, I have completely relaxed and I can enjoy these days leading up to marraige.

Thanks Victor, it was the best present I ever got.

I usually avoid politics. However, I saw a sign that was just too good to ignore:

Re-Defeat Bush

I used to serve on the editorial board of Technican at NC State. Later I wrote for “Hugo Speaks” a humor and satire magazine that my buddy Mike created. My article was called “How to Win a Five Dollar Bet with a Coffe Maker”. It worked, too, and still does.

On a bit of a side note, I went googling for my long lost friend. I found where he participated in a conference in 96 creating a server-side scripting language from scratch. After that, I’m not sure, but it seems that he may have worked for Red Hat and Utenzi after that, and possibly could have been the guy behind the CueCat bruhaha some time ago.

Mike, if you follower the link redirecter - you were right, I never should let this church dominate my life like it did. I know you told me that 14 years ago, but you were a good friend and I should have listened to you. At the very least, we should’ve still hung out together and written crazy articles for Technician. I treated you like dirt and I’m sorry.

Anywho, I hope to avoid politics for another few years. Just had to send along the picture.

I would provide a link to this site, but it is down, so I include the entire text. This was written by a member of a discipling/shepherding church in defense of discipling.

Authority

The critics feel that the shepherding/discipleship paradigm in (church name deleted -.Ed) is
fostering an abusive environment. They feel that church leaders ought
to be accountable to others for their conduct. But wait. Certainly
there ought to be discipline in the church. Certainly people in
authority should not bend to the opinion of men, but be accountable to
God and submitted to him. This needs some further explanation. Let me
explain how this works by using the parent-child relationship as a
model.

In Christ, a church is a family (Mat 12:49-50). And within this
family, we have spiritual fathers and mothers, like pastors, elders
and various leaders (1Co 4:15; 1Jn 2:13). Paul even described his
disciples as sons (Phm 10; 1Ti 1:2, 18; 2Ti 1:2, 2:1; Php 2:22; Tit
1:4). He says words like, “To Timothy my true son in the faith…”
Now, a parent’s job is not just to nurture children, but to also
discipline them (Pro 13:24; 19:18; 22:15; 23:13-14; 29:15,17). As a
child grows up, he needs less nurturing and more discipline. The same
is true for spiritual children, those who have not yet reached
spiritual maturity. The discipline they need does not seem pleasant
(Heb 12:9-11). Allow me to illustrate my point using the mother eagle:

A mother eagle builds her nest by first using material that is not
soft, like thorns and branches. Then on top of it, she puts the softer
material such as wool and feathers. When her eaglets reach flying age,
she removes the soft top lining of the nest, exposing the sharp,
jagged material underneath. This helps her young eaglets to leave the
comfort of the nest and move on to independence.

In a similar way, a parent’s love must switch from being soft and
nurturing to being tough and disciplining. This “switching” also
happens in (church name deleted -.Ed) . Initially, a new (church name deleted -.Ed) member is praised and encouraged
and may be put on a pedestal and put at the center of attention.
Later, a spiritual parent (the shepherd) will gradually give
correction, rebuke, and training to help the person repent of sin.
Critics think that this switching proves that the nurturing love was
insincere and that it was “love bombing”. This is not so. It is with
Christ’s love and with sincerity that a new member is loved. Critics
also allege that the discipline in (church name deleted -.Ed) is spiritual abuse and abuse of
authority. This is not so. Godly love disciplines. And to withhold
this discipline is not love (Pro 13:24). Out of this love, a spiritual
parent gives rebuke and discipline and does so even at the risk of
being misunderstood.

To whom is a leader accountable? Well, first, what accountability
system do we see in the Bible circumscribing the authority of parents?
There is none! Of course, parents are forbidden from exasperating or
embittering their children (Col 3:21; Eph 6:4). Nevertheless, by the
fifth commandment, parents are to be honored by their children
unconditionally. Biblicly, parents answer to no man for their
parenting performance. Rather, their eye is to be on pleasing the Lord
Jesus and they are to be submitted to his lordship. The same is true
for spiritual parents. Heb 13:17 says, “Obey your leaders and submit
to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an
account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for
that would be of no advantage to you.” This states that leaders are
accountable to the Lord. It states that they are to be obeyed. No
conditions or limitations apply.

However, there is one limitation to the authority of physical and
spiritual parents. That limitation is alluded to in Mat 10:37, “Anyone
who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me.” This
makes it clear that, when there is a clear conflict between the
commands of parents and the commands of the Lord, children must choose
to obey the Lord (Acs 4:19). This flows also from the fact that the
fifth commandment regarding human parents has four greater
commandments preceding it regarding the Lord God.

But, on the other hand, this exception is not to be misused as a means
to rebel against the authority of physical or spiritual parents. In
Jesus’ day, people were using the corban rule to get around the fifth
commandment. “Corban” means a gift or sacrificial offering. The corban
rule allowed anything to be dedicated to God by pronouncing it
“corban”. In Mk 7:10-13, Jesus spoke against the Pharisees for
teaching people to exempt themselves from obeying the 5th commandment
through the Corban rule:

“For Moses said, `Honor your father and your mother,’ and, `Anyone who
curses his father or mother must be put to death.’ But you say that if
a man says to his father or mother: `Whatever help you might otherwise
have received from me is Corban’ (that is, a gift devoted to God),
then you no longer let him do anything for his father or mother.” Thus
you nullify the word of God by your tradition that you have handed
down. And you do many things like that.”

Here, Jesus says that, under the fifth commandment, parents are to be
obeyed. To disobey them in the name of obeying God is to nullify the
word of God. Thus, it is rebellion against God.

Practical Implications
How does all this apply to you, dear reader, in your relationship with
your spiritual parents in the Lord? Paul writes in Col 3:20,
“Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the
Lord.” Here, “in everything” means in everything. The aim is pleasing
the Lord, not men.

If your spiritual leader seems to make a mistake and tells you to do
something that is not fitting, must you still obey? Perhaps the better
question to ask yourself first, is why you cannot trust your leader.
Surely parents understand more than children. They usually know what
is best. But perhaps you feel that this is not a trust issue. If so,
then you must first seriously evaluate your relationship with the
Lord. When your relationship with the Lord is distant, he may seem
like an oppressive dictator who wants to rob you of freedom. What
pleases him displeases you. Then, everyone who speaks from God’s point
of view seems the same way, making you feel sensitive and burdened. If
your parents make you feel this way, it is maybe a warning sign about
your spiritual status. Please repent your sins. Seek the Lord’s
counsel by having regular daily devotional time. But, above all, do
not stuff your feelings down. The critics are full of anger and
bitterness, claiming they were repeatedly abused by “authoritarian
leaders” in (church name deleted -.Ed) . There is no excuse for this as Christians. These
emotions are spiritually deadly. We must deal with such feelings in
the Lord. We must put them to death!

Each person in the church is a part of a family with a duty to “love
one another” (Jn 13:34, 15:12,17). Along with this, comes the
responsibility to bear the sins of your fathers and mothers in the
Lord. Yes, (church name deleted -.Ed) leaders are not always right. They can make critical
mistakes, especially when it comes to delicate matters like helping
people to repent. (But I deny the allegations made my (church name deleted -.Ed) critics.)
Your duty is to honor your spiritual parents by trying as much as
possible to trust their integrity and to put the best construction on
even the wrongs they have done — yes, to even cover over their
mistakes and sins (1Pe 4:8; Jn 13:14). As Gideon Klijian has
pointed out, Canaan dishonored his father by broadcasting his father’s
shameful naked condition to his brothers (Gen 9:22). This is what
critics of (church name deleted -.Ed) have done on their websites. They say all kinds of
negative, sick things about (church name deleted -.Ed) leadership in the hopes of poisoning
your mind. You, in Jesus, have the power not to do what they do, but
rather overcome hurt feelings and forgive and love and honor your
leaders, remembering the good things they have done for you. Shouldn’t
children be thankful for their parents? Yes, children certainly owe a
great debt of love and thanks (Ro 13:8) to their parents for all they
have done. They owe even loyalty.

Reform in the ICC has been underway for quite some time, however, all such efforts have been called ‘divisive’ and ’slanderous’. Very few of these efforts have been publicly acknowledged - and even those few have been acknowledged only after public pressure.

The first efforts were lead by Jerry Jones when he left in 1986. First, some background. Dr. Jones had been in Crossroads since the 70s and moved to Boston in 1985. Having a Doctorate of Theology, his position within the Boston Church of Christ was to give the Boston Movement some credibility. He and Gordon Ferguson became the primary teachers in Boston, along with Kip McKean delivering the necessary bombast from time to time. It was also during this time that the leaders in Boston contacted Flavil R. Yeakley to perform a study on why the Boston Movement was so growing so quickly. The center of the discipling movement had shifted from Florida to Boston and the leadership in Boston felt it necessary to provide justification for the shift and to solidify the methods and practices of ‘discipling’ churches. Up until this point, each church was pretty autonomous and did what they wished, although by 1987, Kip was demanding that evangelists come to Boston to be trained. (The evangelist would come to Boston, Boston would send a ‘trained’ minister to the evangelist’s congregation to preach until the evangelist returned after his training.)

In short, both efforts (the enlisting of Jerry Jones and the objective study by Flavil R. Yeakley) backfired. Both men pointed out flaws in the structure of the church and the nature of so-called discipling. Because Dr. Jones publicly taught against the Boston churches, he was marked as divisive and characterized as a greedy person making money from confusing disciples. Dr. Yeakley’s study has never been publicly mentioned. To this day, any outside perspective or criticism is typically shunned and/or minimized.

In 1991, Rick Bauer, an editor for the official ICC magazine “Upside Down” tried to set up a meeting with leaders in Boston and with Kip in LA to discuss doctrinal issues as well as the pyramid structure and unhealthy discipling practices. Rick was pursuing a theology degree in Denver (a Crossroads church, not a Boston church) when he went to Boston to be “trained”. Boston sent a minister to Denver to reconstruct the church there while Rick was being trained. This meeting never took place, Rick only published accounts of what transpired after he was marked by the Boston church. Since then, like Dr. Jones, he has been minimized and ridculed as trying to make money from speaking against the ICC.

Also in 1991, Ayman Akshar, a former administrator for the London Church of Christ exposes the financial problems of the church in London. After a government investigation, the church is fined and ordered to pay back taxes to the government. Administrative policy changes for overseas churches and offcially changed everywhere in 1994 when new policy is published.

In 1994, a “Kingdom Teachers Conference” was called by Douglas Jacoby and others. The purpose of the original meeting was to coordinate the ongoing training in churches around the world. Some in that meeting were looking to go deeper than the First Principles’ study series and the result of these efforts produced “Deep Convictions” a 30 day study of various topics such as Discipleship and Evangelism, but also included a seven day study of Grace. The offical results of the first teachers’ meeting in 94 were broadcast to churches wouldwide under the heading of “Wine, Women, and Song”.

It is not a sin to drink alcohol, but it was a sin to be drunk.
Music in worship service is not a sin.
It is okay for women to baptize women and for women to disciple women.

As these annual meetings continued, however, various teachers began discussing the effects of ICC doctrine and practice. Concerns were raised about the unique interpretation of Mat 28:18 - 20 that only ‘baptized disciples’ were saved as well as the evangelist-centered leadership style mandated by Administrative policy. The first teacher’s conference was the only one that provided public statements. Based on comments made at the 2003 Teacher’s Seminar (the first conference open to any attendees), changes were discussed as early as 1996 that needed to be implemented in all ICC congregations. For whatever reasons, it was decided that these changes should be introduced gradually and with minimal confrontation.

Although it is not confirmed, it appears that Sam Laing was given a license to try out some of these new reforms about this time. In his congregation, for example, KNN was rarely shown and talk of the LA church was minimal. One over another discipling was discouraged, but one-WITH-another was encouraged. Messages from the pulpit began to address other areas of the Bible outside of evangelism. These ideas also spread to Atlanta spearheaded by Steve Sapp, evnagelist and Geographical Sector Leader (techincally, Sam’s boss). More research should go into the Souteastern Churches early reforms in the 90s, this I know only from personal experience.

Also in 1994, Ed Powers, and evangelist in the Indianapolis Church of Christ found that he had issues with the discipleship structure and leadership from LA. He also had concerns in regards to contribution money and the elitism of the ICC as the only ones saved. What happened next is not entirely certain. What is known is that several folks from LA came to Indianapolis, including Kip McKean. The result of this was the creation of the Circle City Church of Christ (led by Ed Powers) and the ‘re-planting’ of the Indianapolis Church of Christ. When Kip wrote later about the events in Indy, he said:

“A very sad chapter in our history was written in March of this year. Ed Powers, the lead evangelist of the Indianapolis Church of Christ, like Korah, being filled with bitterness and selfish ambition, deceived the entire congregation and caused many to lose their faith and turn away from God. Several World Sector Leaders, namely Doug Arthur, Al Baird, Marty Fuqua, Bob Gempel and I flew to Indianapolis to confront this division in the body of Christ. The victory is that 220 of 700 remained faithful to God, his church and his movement. As for those who continue to oppose us, they are lost– not because their baptism became invalid, but the Scriptures are clear that those who oppose and grumble against God’s leaders and divide God’s church are, in fact, opposing God (Exodus 16:8; Numbers 16). Thus, the rebellious become lost because they do not have a true faith.”

In 1995, Al Baird spoke publicly about the ‘discipling crisis’ during a conference in Africa. He estimated that former members outnumbered current members 2 to 1. Unfortunately, he goess on to say that people that leave are worse off than those staying. In light of recent events, it is difficult for me to determine if he meant difficult because of the abuse of the system or difficult because they were now going to Hell. The quote follows:

“I’ve got two points this morning. The first point is: the kingdom has a shepherding crisis. I picked those words very carefully. I thought about saying, ‘the kingdom has a shepherding problem.’ Brothers and sisters, we are far beyond the problem stage, we are in the crisis stage. How many of you look at the kingdom stats every month? Some of you are liars. We can’t wait to see where we stack up on the kingdom stats. You look at 1994: there were 30,000 baptisms in the kingdom of God – I praise God for 30,000 baptisms, it’s the most in modern-day times in the kingdom of God. But also look below that: in addition to 30,000 baptisms there were almost 20,000 fallaways. You heard it right: 30,000 baptisms, 20,000 fallaways. …How would you like to stand up before your church on Sunday morning, and say, brothers and sisters, I want you to look to your left and to your right, because on the day of judgement, you’re not going to make it. Two out of three of you are not going to make it. We’ve got a shepherding crisis, are you with me church?”

In 1997, Joseph Owade and Lucas Mboya wage a very public war against the Nariobi Christian Church. They specifically protest against tithing, bashing other churches, and the elitism of the ICC. Their protests are never mentioned publicly.

That same year, Gordon Ferguson, one of the four “Kingdom Teachers” publishes a book called Discipling. In it he gently challenges the notion of one-over-another discipling. He specifically challenges the notion that a discipler must be obeyed saying that there is a difference between advice and Scripture. There was no reaction to this book that I’m aware of. Drawing from various sources, it appears that if the intent was to change the nature of shepherding or discipling in the ICC, it did not accomplish its goal. His book, Prepared to Answer published in 1998, contained material criticizing denominations and the mainline church of christ. This book is out of print and Gordon has publicly apologized for its content.

In 1999, John Engler in Denver begins a “Barnabas Ministry” as an apologetic to the ICC while acknowledging its errors. Surviving criticism, he wrote about many of the problems within the ICC and proposed solutions. On his website, there are many thoughtful articles about the study series (First Prinicples), the pyramid structure, Matthew 28:18-20 (baptized disciples are the only ones saved) and Matt 6:33 (Seek first the church’s needs). In 2001, he published a book called “The Grass Isn’t Always Greener” that talks about the suffering of leaving the ICC. Since then, John himself has left the ICC and continues to help those inside and outside the ICC.

In 2001, Kip McKean goes on a ’sabbatical’. Althought it is never publicly stated, his oldest daughter left the ICC while attending her freshman year of college. He had dismissed the World Sector leaders over Central America a couple years earlier when one of their children left the ICC.

In January 2002, Gordon Ferguson and Wyndham Shaw publish a book entitled “The Golden Rule of Leadership”. This book directly confronts the pyramid structure and calls for group leadership. Reaction to the book is swift. Some ignore it as a solution to a problem that doesn’t exist. Others embrace it as a new and potentially better way to lead. In San Francisco, the book is banned until the Net World Sector conference is held later that year.

In November 2002, a Unity Meeting was held to discuss the future of the ICC. By Administrative Policy, a successor to Kip had to be named, or the World Sector Leaders could run the ICC as a group. Instead, the men openly discuss the problems within the ICC, including the pyramid structure. Some of the evangelists at that meeting return to their congregations and make serious attempts at reform. Some churches hold open meetings to discuss the problems, issues, and hurts of members. Some churches do nothing at all. The official report of this meeting says only that the men attending pledged to remain unified in brotherhood.

It is against this backdrop that the Henry Kreite letter appears in Feb 2003. Intended as a letter to the leadership worldwide and in LA, it is posted on the internet and spreads overnight all over the world. Reaction to the letter was swift and dramatic:

Most of the World Sector leaders resign as well as many of the Geographic Sector leaders. Most of the World Sector corporations dissolve. (Exceptions include the Net World Sector Corporation centered in San Francisco, the ICOC parent corporation in LA, and the ICC Missions Corporation, also in LA). Evangelists resign in droves and regular members leave en masse from larger churches. Many members strike back through contribution - those staff members that didn’t resign are fired for lack of money to pay for them. Some churches struggle to pay generous severances to former staff. Smaller churches struggle to stay afloat or fold. Most dramatic is that many members and leaders now discover that they have to fend for themselves and are ill-equipped to handle the legal, financial, and ethical aspects of church polity.

Many apologies ensue as well as letters of response. Some are sincere, some are posturing. Letters of response range from criticism of Henry Kreite’s character, to mild praise, to tremendous praise.

There’s more to the recent changes than what I have written here. I included the background because I think it gives insight into why Henry’s Letter had such a dramatic effect. We all knew what was going on, but we never asked each other about it.

Sources used:

1. http://www.reveal.org/abouticc/bostonera.html
2. http://www.reveal.org/abouticc/iccera.html
3. http://www.rickross.com/reference/icc/ICC103.html
4. http://www.reveal.org/library/stories/people/rbauer.html
5. Comments made at the 9th Annual Teacher’s Conference in Chicago
6. Personal experience in Triangle Church led by Sam Laing from 1993 - 2003
7. Personal observations as member from 1991 - 2004

We are happy to have friends and family celebrate the beginning of the next great adventure in our lives. We are celebrating our marriage in a cozy setting, so we can’t publish the address. In your invite, you will find the correct address and directions to the wedding.

It will start at 2pm sharp and the dress is semi-formal. What does semi-formal mean? Well, it means wear what you feel beautiful in. It means don’t wear a tuxedo unless that’s what you feel beautiful in. Come, relax, and share in our celebration.

For those that could not join us from Omaha, Jeff and Karla Lessman have graciously offered to have a reception for us in November. As details are confirmed, we’ll let you know!

True, it’s been a slow newsweek on the church front. As my brother tells me, maybe this is a sign that I just need to get away from all of it. I believe that he is right. Come mid-November, I’ll probably leave all of this working through my church past, present, and future behind.

The whole wedding is going well and I believe it will be wonderful. I look forward to it as it will be a beautiful ceremony. I look forward to seeing my family and I look forward to a new life.

This week, though, the pressure of all the details, my relentless thought cycle and the drudgery of aspects of my job really got to me. I broke down last night after I thought Laryssa believed that I had blown off getting help moving tomorrow. Of course, she didn’t believe that at all; she was sharing that she was stressed because we didn’t have people lined up for certain. Needless to say, I got really defensive and it uncovered a few things - especially the stresses.

Billy Joel has said in song ‘I have to smile when she reveals me’ and I feel the same way. She is truly wonderful. I truly love my best friend and confidant. I hope and pray to be able to relax so that I can help her.

Anywho, maybe I’ll work out the relentless thought cycle this weekend. Who knows? For those that don’t know me, the relentless thought cycle is a period of intense creativity bottled by a lack of writing ideas down. Because I have such a poor memory, my mind reviews things over and over so that I can remember them long enough to write them down. Work and wedding planning hasn’t afforded me the time to write things down, thus the review of ideas is constantly running 24/7. This makes the cycle worse because I don’t rest which makes it harder to write things down.

This doesn’t mean I’ll post a lot to get it out. Some of the ideas of less blog-like. For example, a small group of us have been working on a study series for our church and I’ve been working on a post-baptism basics type of thing. Those things will be one of the countless Open Office documents on my work and home hard drives.

I’ll let you know as it works out. Tonight, my roommate and I will be going out to eat, so I’ll get away from the computers for awhile. I’ll write more soon.

At long last, Laryssa and I have registered for gifts from three different stores. We tried to find stores that allow you to purchase online or that are located nationwide. Giftcards are perfectly fine - we love to shop! Also know that when we requested a set (for example pots and pans) you can purchase an individual piece instead of purchasing the entire set.Here are the stores where we are registered:

Bed, Bath, and Beyond

Pier 1 Imports

Williams-Sonoma

You may also buy us giftcards to Cost Plus’s World Market. They do not allow the creation of registries because their stock changes constantly. You may purchase giftcards here

The more I look for analogies, the more I’m drawn into the implosion of the UBF. It’s not because I like to watch failures, but because of the similarities.

The UBF expereinced a split when concerns about the top guy were answered with being kicked out of the church. The kicked out leaders formed their own fellowship. At some point (I’m still trying to get the history straight), after Samuel Lee passed away, a reform movement began known as Campus Ministries International.

In reading about CMI, I picked up their copy of a ‘Discipler’s Guide’ and started reading it. Remembering that they are a reform movement in reaction to Samuel Lee, I was struck that even for a reform movement, the methods and level of control in a member’s life was even more than my ICC history. It was less control than the UBF (AFAIK), but still more control than I would think healthy. The thing is, that none of it appears intentional. The guide doesn’t say ‘tell them what to do, pick out their future spouses, manage all their time.’ It does, however, give encouragement to total participation to the church’s events.

Outside of that, hearing the testimonies of those that attend their conferences sounds like a who’s who of the ICC responses from the conferences of old. The only thing missing is the overuse of the word awesome(r) or the use of the word flat for emaphasis. I kid you not.

The point of this post? Without outside perspective, reform is relative. I’m sure that all the leaders in the CMI tell themselves that they aren’t like Samuel Lee. They’d be right. Major leaders post on messageboards, there’s discussion about life in the church, etc. In the end, though, it appears as just a kinder, gentler UBF with a different name.

I initally thought that my church’s idea of changing our name was a bit silly. I figured that real change was more important than a superficial one. I now see that a name change is not superficial. In fact, it was mentioned by a couple reports of MOAC 2004. There’s a certain power in a name (another Wild at Heart reference). I hope we do, especially in light of the changes made . I hope it won’t be a CMI style change and I don’t think it will. There is definitely a trend here to look to our Restorationist roots.

It’s funny what we choose to remember about a specific event. I think as humans, we want to remember those things that affirm our own beliefs. Being human, I am not immune from this phenomenon. Realizing bias is important to me because it is the most fair way I know to make any sort of comment. I know that I am biased and have pre-conceived notions of how people interact and strong opinions about various issues of the day. On the positive side, it means that I care. On the negative side, I can have selective hearing that over time become convenient memories. I’m certain that without any great effort on my part, I will hear what I want to hear and filter out the rest.

Having said all that, various reactions to MOAC 2004(tm) have demonstrated different things. In part, I believe that each commentator had their own expectations and hopes. Another part, as I said earlier, was an idea of how things should be. So more than anything, I truly believe that the reaction the conference is a small window into the hopes and hearts of the posters.

My own commentary focused on Dr. Reese and Steve Staten’s messages, even though I listened to all of day one’s messages. I wanted to hear something different, a new perspective. I wanted to hear about fellowship with other churches. I wanted to hear that the ‘book is not closed’ on what our fellowship of churches need to change. I chose not to hear a comment on bloggers made by one speaker. I chose not to hear references to so-called ‘discipling’ and to our fellowship’s distinctiveness. I had all kinds of reactions to things said, especially to everyone’s determination to claim that we are still unified.

More later..

As I was wandering around the internet, I happened upon an anonymous post by someone asking about a particular church. I’m not going to say which one, because of what I did with the rest of this post. What follows is one response to the question, “What do you know about this church?”. I have removed references to the church’s name and subsituted ‘this church’. I also removed references to specific individuals and changed grammar appropriately. In my ongoing quest for answers and analogies, I thought this letter from a former member of this specific church said a lot.
******

Dear Wondering,

This church is essentially a bunch of under-informed people who are being commanded around by a very corrupt leadership. These corrupt leaders love money, they love power, they love to be praised. They have very high ideas about themselves, and very low and gutterly ideas about all others.

Within the group at this church, you may come across a number of sincere and decent people. These people have no influence on the agenda or direction of the church overall. These sincere and decent people are constantly manipulated by the very corrupt leadership untill almost all of them leave. These sincere and decent people give all they have to this church, and do all they can to recruit others. They do this in ignorance.

If you are a sincere and decent person, then you are bound to suffer alot at this church. If you are very corrupt and proud, you can become a leader at this church.

Please find a healthy place to learn and practice your Christain faith. I recommend a Bible college has adult continuing education. Their teaching is usually very sound, and the cost is very low. There are also many good internet sites, one is at www.bereanbiblesociety.org.

This church is a cult because the group is set up to give glory honor and praise to a group of very sinful people. At this church, (name withheld) is held up as being the closest thing to God himself. In real life, he is an extremely corrupt man. There are many definitions of what is a personality cult. Some define a personality cult as nothing more than a mini dictatorship. Thus, this church can be classified as a personality cult. The main leader even revered such personality cult leaders as Ho Chi Minh, , Lenin, Stalin, Napoleon. I also remember when he spoke up in favor of Sadam way back in the day. I heard he also spoke up in support of the Taliban. I think he was well aware that this church was his personality cult.

Also, I believe that this church is a personality cult in the sense that being of one race is held up as being next to godliness. In reality, being in one race is no better or worse than being of any other race or ethnicity. Some personality cults are harmless. This church, in my opinion, is very dangerous and destructive. You would be best served by not having anything to do with this church.
*******

Interesting, no? I can tell you that it is not about the ICoC, but it could’ve been. You know what core teachings the ICoC and this church share in common? Discipling. They shared other things in common, too, and to be fair have some striking differences. Food for thought.

I don’t believe that grace-oriented theology is the opposite of works-based theology. There is a tendency in fall into a trap in critical thinking to set up two extremes and find the answer between them. In this case, the two extremes are placed as ‘too much works-thinking’ on one side and ‘too much grace-thinking’. This kind of thinking only produces muddiness and uncertainty. It’s not that everything is certain and that muddiness is a bad thing. A lack of clarity has often produced faith in my life because it forces me to remember that I am not always going to find the answer and that God is being a father to me by letting me find my own way through. However, my point is that I want to look for a different perspective that might produce at least a little more clarity. Setting up these two end posts and looking for the answer between is bound to produce all kinds of arguments over words and hairs and other minutia that exasperates many.

Aside from that, works-based theology is not something that needs to be balanced out. It is not partially right or half right, it is not right at all. I truly believe, like John Eldridge has said, that men are meant to be free. Works-based theology in any form produces duty, not freedom. Men will tend to fulfill their obligations and be dutiful, but such duty to anything (work, church, even God) kills the heart inch by inch over time. The response to works-based theology is God-thinking theology. Who knows this God-thinking theology? I don’t think any one person does, but I look forward to finding out. It’s a great journey.
Having said that, though, there is one fundamental thing that I have learned so far: I have nothing to prove to anyone.

God chose me when I was His enemy. I think about the events of Acts 9. Look at the conversion of Saul and the reaction of Ananias. Ananias was honest with the Lord and questioning what was happening, but ultimately, he did what the Lord asked him to do. Saul didn’t have to prove anything to Ananias before or after his conversion. When he went back to Jerusalem, he wasn’t allowed to join the disciples there. Quite understandably, they were afraid of him. The last time they had dealt with Saul, he had arrested their friends (and possibly family). In this situation, it would have been easy for Saul to try to prove that he was a changed man. The key is this: Saul needed an advocate. No amount of watching, reporting, or measuring would have changed many of the disciples’ minds in Jerusalem. Not only that, it would have produced pro-Saul and anti-Saul factions. Mistrust cannot be overcome with proofs, only love.

Instead, Saul is brought before the apostles by Barnabas who speaks on his behalf. After Barnabas tells of what Saul has done, Saul is accepted. Not only was he accepted, as it says in verse 28, he moved about freely in Jerusalem. In addition to being accepted, he was trusted. Was it because of what he had done in Damascus? Not really. He was trusted because the apostles trusted Barnabas. The Bible says that wisdom is proved right by her actions, and the result of the apostles’ trust is that Saul proclaims the gospel in a powerful way. The apostles could have been cautious and put him on ‘move-in status’. They could have asked Barnabas to stay with Saul and keep an eye on him. They could have even asked for Barnabas to report to them so that they could be aware of the situation. None of this occurs - not because Saul was so great and powerful, but because Barnabas took a risk to be an advocate.

In the same way, Jesus is an advocate for each of us. Just like he was an advocate for Saul to Ananias, he is an advocate for us before the throne of God. Satan accuses us day and night (Rev 12:10), but Jesus is there on our side. I imagine that, like Ananias, Satan brings up legimate concerns about each of us. I certainly have some very legimate issues that he could bring up, especially in areas of self-control. However, Jesus is also there as an advocate on my behalf. He doesn’t argue that the good I do outweighs the bad, although I’m sure he does present to good that I do. Ultimately, it comes down to him saying, “I chose him, and I will show him his errors.” God then chooses to accept me, not because of what I’ve done, but because he trusts his Son, the author and perfecter of our faith. I believe that Jesus will continue to advocate me and He will continue to show me the error of my ways.

If Jesus is my advocate to God, then what do I have to prove to anyone? I don’t have to prove that I am right and I don’t have to be angry when I am wrong. Whether Jesus chooses to show me my error through my critics or my friends is up to His discretion. I don’t have to be right, but I want to be His. Unless I am humble, how will I know when Jesus is trying to tell me something. Certainly, I can trust His word as an anchor, and I’m glad that I don’t have to wonder so much about that. I have to work to understand it correctly, but there’s no discernment needed about how the message is delivered. It came from God. With others, however, it’s tempting to judge the messenger and not the message. I do not have to trust someone for them to tell me the truth. My trust or lack thereof is irrelevant, what is important is the message. Is someone telling me what is right? Because I have nothing to prove to them or myself, who cares what they think of me? Who cares if they score a point against me on some imaginary scoreboard? It’s not about winning. My enemy is not flesh and blood, so my fight is not against the person I see, but the powers of the evil one, the false teaching, the deceptive theology, and hollow promises offered in exchange for the freedom in Christ that all Christians share.

There is a person I know that has had a rather public discussion with an elder in Atlanta. I don’t want to comment on the nature of that discussion, but in the midst of it, he stated five things he wanted to see as evidence of change. I have restated them here. I think these are things that I also hope to see.

1. Non-works & non-discipling theology taught in the pulpit and in smaller group settings.
2. Financial records should be transparent.
3. A systematic reveiw of the false teachings and bad theology of the past including, but not limited to, a public stance against One True Denomination teaching and against appointing an individual discipler to be ’saved’.
4. Work with other denominations in joint projects - no more it has to be ICC or it’s not good mentality.
5. Good follow-up through financial and legal channels to change by-laws to reflect the new theology.