Monday, I went to a friends house and changed the brake pads on my car. You have to understand that I may have remembered almost everything from High School, but I didn’t take Shop. Put another way, I have very little ability with the care and maintenance of an automobile. Yet, I actually changed one of them myself, instead of contracting the work out like Tom Sawyer. (My brother still claims that the only time I mowed the lawn before college, I subcontracted it out to a friend for part of my allowance.) It’s not like someone (MrTool) hadn’t shown me before. I just had to do it. I am grateful for the immense patience given to me.
It turns out that I managed to put one of the brake pads on backwards. This made the show larger than normal causing me to grind the rim itself. I also ground the rotor as well, because the wrong side was performing the braking action. With the help of a co-worker’s tools, I was able to correct this in the parking lot. (I have a socket set, but it’s somewhere in my garage…)
There are other things which, despite the best folks showing me, I just cannot grasp them: I cannot tie a necktie. Really, I cannot tie one. I’ve had tons of people show me. Just like curing hiccups, though, most are convinced that their unique combination of methodology and personality will be the great shaft of light into my darkened understanding. I repeat, I am unable to tie a necktie and this is not something that needs to be fixed. Kurt, MrTool, this is the wide open opportunity to compare notes. I still have at least one tie from each of you that you tied for me that remains tied and hanging in the closet. (I also have one from my brother-in-law.)
I have learned to accept it, begrudgingly. I hope you can accept it, too. I cannot tie a necktie. I have aggravated salespeople. I’m talking upscale salespeople who believe that the customer can do no wrong. Trust me, an hour plus tying a necktie the wrong way will send even the most loving, patient soul screaming into the parking lot. (He actually said, ‘excuse me’, and I never saw him again.) I have aggravated myself standing in front of a mirror thinking that this is such a simple thing, how can I be this terrible at this? Seriously, I have aggravated myself to the point of rage trying to tie one.
The first one of you that gives me a necktie for Christmas…
Humility is important in both cases. In the first case, it’s good to ask for help and accept help. In the second case, it’s good to know your limitations. I am just grateful for my friends that put up with me.
More later.
I feel your pain. Those boxes they use in business to store archived files, etc. – the ones that come flat and you have to assemble by ‘inserting Tab A into Tab B’, etc. While I can whiz thru stuff on a PC, etc., I can not assemble a box. Much to the consternation of assistants in my office who can’t understand why I can’t seem to get it and come to them to help me. I look at the diagrams but they just don’t process in my brain.
The same issue is encountered should I ever be presented with a sewing pattern. I can’t match up the pieces. I tried to sew (threading the machine is hard enough) just some little little decorative goose (hey, it was back when they were popular). The little goose had a bonnet. I followed the directions and it came out backwards. I had to ditch the pattern and just figure out a way to make it work.
Oh, I also can’t do that fancy stuff w/crepe paper where you twist it and make little swags of it for birthday parties, etc. Can’t do it.
I’ve accepted my limitations. I’m praying there are no boxes in Heaven.
ttk
Dude, if you still have a tie that I tied for you, it must be hopelessly out of style by now.
I know you don’t actually wear ties that often, but please promise me that, if you have occasion to wear one, you will NOT wear that particular tie.
In fact, throw it away. Buy a new tie, man! Get Mr. Tool to tie that one, or mail it to me. I’ll tie it and send it back to ya. That’s probably a bit extreme…
Two words: Bolo Tie.
http://legis.state.nm.us/Sessions/07%20Regular/bills/house/HB0115.pdf
(Yes, it passed). You’re in the wrong state.
If you stay there in unenlightened Nebraska, at least now we know what to get you for, well, for something:
http://www.thinkgeek.com/apparel/hats-ties/9352
This was an April Fool’s joke that got turned into a real product because enough of us geeks really wanted one.
Mark: Bolo, eh? Maybe I will. The 8-bit tie would be great. I need more geek points, to be sure.
Unenlightened Nebraska? Redundancy is unnecessary.
Kurt: Be careful what you offer.
Style, me? Dude, when was the last time I was anything close to style? You are stylish, no doubt. You are da man. Me? Well. I’m the poster boy for “What Not to Wear” The in-fashion tie that I currently own, was tied by mrtool. The shirt for it no longer fits.
oh and TTK, I pray that Heaven is not a formal dress affair. I’ll also pray that there are no boxes that require assembly!
I’m doomed if there are!
Bolo ties are the way to go! Easy on, easy off and always in style (at least in the SW). Be a trendsetter in Nebraska and get yourself one!
ttk
Hi I’m Milly
I can’t cut a strait line or work all the stuff on my cell phone or computer. I can cure the hiccups just take a sip of something like soda bend over and swallow. As for working on your breaks that’s why you would move in next to guys like my husband, he can do it for you and he has the tools. Who needs more? He’d tie your tie for you also. But you’d have to fix our computer when stuff goes pfftttttt. He can’t do anything really on these.
Milly: Is this another Chik-Fil-A ploy? Driving cross-country is okay, but moving? That’s a toughie.
Oh wait, you really didn’t say anything about Chik-Fil-A, did you?
Umm..
So, is your computer broken?
I do live in a nice neighborhood within walking distance of the chicken-o-goodness.
My computer is hiding a problem from my tech guy. It has given me thermal warnings after it shut itself down twice now. I took it to my friend who ran the heck out of it and even brought in another tech to look it over. It did the car sound thing, you know your wife says honey the car went kerpft kerft all the way home but when you drive the thing to the store for bread it sounds fine. So now I wait for it to do it again. He said for me to call him so that he can look at the environment it is in.
Sure move over to my neighborhood where the chicken is for the asking. (You have to pay for it. . . . Sometimes . . . .not the last two times. . .They gave me a chicken breakfast sandwich one morning when I dropped my daughter off at school and a coupon for a free one right there in the school drop off. . . two free ones .. . . .sweet!) I love my neighborhood where the chicken jumps in the car. as you toss your kid out. ;-}
Milly: Make sure the computer is in the Proverbial Well Vented Area and that nothing is adjacent to it, possibly blocking ventilation. If that seems kosher try the following. This is often considered a Bad Idea because it can generate static electricity, but the fact that you’re overheating may warrant it.
Buy one of those cans of compressed air (it’s not really air, and you can have some fun spraying your hubby with the can upside down, but you didn’t hear it from me). Open the computer box up. Take it outside unless you really want Mondo Rabid Dust Bunnies From Hell all over your house. Use the compressed air and blow the dust off of anything you can get to inside. Blow it through fans, both ways. Every nook and cranny.
Put it all back together and see if that fixes your thermal warnings.
Mark,
Thanks I did that. (Not my husband thing, be careful with the “air” it has something in it that can kill you if you inhale it.) It didn’t help. I took things out and cleaned it but still it shut down. I’ve moved it around on my desk. I don’t keep it in a cabinet. Who knows. I haven’t given it a full test yet because I don’t want to deal with a shut down any time soon. I t happened when I was watching a tv show one night and other times just when I was doing normal work on it.