As some of you know, I wrote a post about my current anger and frustration over recent events, then removed it. I began writing it as a public post, but decided to make it private at the end. I had been writing it for a few days, but just couldn’t take out a lot of the vitriol. At the end, I was still pretty upset and I forgot to make it private.

To those that read it I just want to say that my feelings do not come from a lack of support or prayers from anyone. I am truly grateful. I feel very loved and accepted. It has been wonderful sharing this difficult time with you.

I am angry at God alone, not any one of you. This is nothing new for God and me, unfortunately, but it is new that it is this intense. As I said, I will probably seek professional help soon. I am not well at all.

To anyone that wishes to offer advice, I only ask that you do not say or imply “God is in control”. He was in control when we were given a rare genetic syndrome that is transferable. This means our children may have children with worse predicaments than they have. We are awaiting confirmation of the diagnosis of Townes-Brocks syndrome. If confirmed, we are certainly done having children and I will have to break the news to our children when they are adults that having children for them is a large risk. If it is not confirmed, we may a very rare (only 11 known cases) form of Goldenhar’s syndrome that is hereditary.

Others have been through worse, I’m sure. This is, however, more than I can handle at this present time. I will probably not post anything for a while.