I keep having the same dream for the past few nights. I do not know what it means.

It begins with people coming over to my house or with me going to someone else’s house. I see people that I don’t know, but I’m able to say hello and chat for awhile. I think it is a Wednesday night or a Thursday. For some reason I keep reminding myself that it is not Sunday morning.

After some time, I tell everyone that it is time to start. At this point, I become an observer in the crowd as I see myself doing this. From this point forward, whenever I speak to the group, I see myself as a memebr of the group. When I think to myself, I am ‘myself’ again looking at the group.

I welcome everyone to wherever we are and briefly talk about how all of us are here to worship God. I explain that I coordinate things, but that this service is participatory as explained on the website. I encourage those that did not know that it is okay to feel like you are not ready, we all felt that way at first. After more words of welcome, I ask if anyone has anything Scripture to share or song to sing. I remind people that a time for sharing what the Scripture means to you will come later, for now this is just for reading Scripture. Someone begins a song for the church and we all fumble through a songbook that I do not recognize. After the song, someone reads from a Psalm. Another person reads a passage from Matthew and mentions why its important. I remember thinking to myself that it is okay that this person didn’t follow protocol – this is about worship. As long as it doesn’t get out of hand, this is still orderly worship. Another song follows, this one slower than the first and the crowd is more confident of the words and tune. Three more share passages, though I’m not sure which ones.

After a pause, I ask if anyone else has something to share. No one else does, so I begin to tell the group that this is the time for prayers. A person can just pray aloud, or mention a prayer need. Various people pray for forgiveness, some pray for the health of a relative. A couple of people simply state a need instead of pray – one for job stuff, another for Spiritual strength in the trials of life. I think to myself that this last person used peculiar language to express himself and reminded myself that this was bound to happen. For some reason, I remind myself that we (the group) are not all from the same tradition. After another silence, this one longer than the last, I ask if there are other prayers. A woman in the back asks for more time of silent prayer, so we all bow our heads in silence. After a few minutes, she asks if there are any other prayer concerns and no one else shares.

Then I say that this is the time in our service to share personal testimony about the power of God in their lives. I also mention that the Bible speaks about being reconciled with your brother and leaving the gift on the altar and be reconciled before presenting the gift to God. I explain that we will take a five minute break for coffee and that this would be a great time to reconcile if you need to do so. I mention the coffee break, but don’t remember it actually happening.

My perspective changes to that of a person that needs to talk with someone else. I (as someone else that’s not me) pull aside another man and explain that I am angry at him for some reason. I don’t remember exactly what the problem was, but we spend ten minutes or so really hashing it out – it’s not a Hallmark(R) moment for a while. However, we do eventually come to a conclusion. After an embrace, we return to the group. My perspective switches back to me again as I hear a woman share of being healed of some sickness. After her, a man shares about God working in his life, but I don’t remember what he shared. A pause occurs and I ask for any other testimony this evening. No one shares. I turn to Eric and ask him to share his testimony to lead our thoughts for communion. My dream fast forwards past his testimony and the passing of plates. I pray for the bread, the body of Christ, and the fruit of the vine, which represents his blood and we all partake together in unison.

After this, someone begins to sing a ‘worship’ song, I believe it is “humble yourself in the sight of the lord”. When the song concludes, I once again pray in thanks for the sacrifice of Jesus. Upon finishing, everyone straightens up and I ask if anyone has any encouragement or word of exhortation. Two or three people share passages and speak about them. One person asks a question of the last person to share and a discussion ensues about the meaning of a particular passage. I remember thinking that I often try to minimize conflict and that I just need to let this one work out. I am relieved when it does. After a pause, I ask if anyone has anything at all that they want to share – a few thank you’s emerge for the folks that shared.

I thank the speakers as well and ask the crowd to open to John 1. I speak about the divinity of Jesus for some time. In other dreams, I am in different chapters of John and they do not go in order. Part of me is thinking that I always share from John, but that as this group continues, other series will be taught by me and others that will complete the group. When I am finished, I ask if there are any questions about my lesson. A discussion begins about the God-man Jesus and what that means. A young man, about 20, starts to move his reasoning away from Trinitarianism, but someone else in the crowd directs him to other passages. Others share and discuss various things. When the discussion ends, I ask if there are any other comments.

I then share that folks need to sign up to share their testimony and teach a lesson series in the coming weeks. I again mention the website or the printout of the website signups and encourage people that the Spirit of God gives us all something to share. I then give a benediction:

“May the peace of God be with you now and forever. Amen.”

The group then begins to talk amongst themselves. I go into the kitchen to escape the noise and grab something to eat. I look at the time and realize that we had been in that room for almost 2 hours and notice my legs are stiff. I talk to some folks, the only thing consistent in what we talk about is someone asking me, “so what do you do since service is participatory? What is your role and what are you paid for?”

In some dreams, I am still working, so I tell them that I coordinate to provide orderly worship, but that I work 9 to 5 like them. In other dreams, I tell them that I guess I am a pastor. I’m available for counseling, visitation, work in the community, etc, all the same things any pastor does. The difference is that I don’t worry each week about what will happen on Sunday.” The last one is odd, because we always meet at night in the middle of the week in my dreams.

Once in a while there’s a vague sense in my dream that there is some tension between one member of the group and the church they attend on Sundays. Sometimes the problem is that I state my Restoration Movement beliefs on the website and that his church is not RM, nor do they like RM theology and they are concerned about our orthodoxy.

Sometimes it is a minister that wants to know, “what exactly do you think you’re doing?” They go on to explain that the first century church did this or that. In one of these confrontations, I ask if the church that met in the home of Philemon had a kitchen. He explains that a Roman kitchen is not like our modern ones, so I ask if I should remodel the house.

Sometimes there’s just a vague uneasiness about something, but I cannot put my finger on it.

In other variations of the dream, I am not ‘coordinating’ at all. Someone else is teaching a series on something – all I do is usually lead a song, if anything. I think I’ve had about a dozen of these dreams, but I’m not really aware if this was one big dream that left the impression of multiple branches, or multiple dreams. I remember last night’s dream, and that triggered the memory of the previous dreams. Before last night, I don’t remember dreaming this at all.

Anyway, that’s it. I am not sleeping much. Apparently when I do, this is going on. I just wish I could remember the good things people share in these dreams.

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