I got engaged and then the posts evaporated. I assure you it is not for lack of things to write about or a lack of feeling.

I love Laryssa with all my heart. I look forward to this new chapter of my life as an opportunity, not a prison sentence. Some of my acquaintances have told me that this giddy period will wear off with time. These were the same friends that said the tingly first-date feeling would go away, but it hasn’t.

I’m not upset at my friends, I understand exactly what they were trying to tell me. Dating and marriage doesn’t always feel wonderful and lovely. Dating and marriage is work and arguments and making up and a lot of other things that don’t always feel ‘ooey-gooey’. In that regard, they are right.

However, in reading the Family Dynamics cirriculum about marriage together as well as other books like Love Busters, we have decided to do whatever it takes to maintain the feeling of being in love. That is truly hard work, but very rewarding. The hard work for me is not always trying to solve and not always trying to expound my vast knowledge of all things.(this is sarcasm) It’s listening when I hear the illogical circles of thought and being patient while she works through it aloud. I truly have grown to love to hear her share, because I have grown to understand it as an act of trust and respect. Because of that understanding, I feel more loved, not less, when she shares about her day. Besides, if I cannot handle what she is saying, I can say that I want to know, but now is not a good time. She understands that as an expression of my desire to give her quality time, not just quantity time. Getting to this point took some work, but it is worth it. I genuinely miss her during the day. I miss her more now than I did when we first started dating.

I don’t consider it a weakness to express my need for her. She listens and cares, but she truly loves me for who I am and willingly shares in my dreams for church, business, and our relationship. More than anything I have needed in my healing is for someone to believe in me. 1 Peter 4:8 is true. Love does covers a multitude of sins. I’ve learned, though, that love does not just cover my own sins, but even the sins of those who have hurt me. Without Laryssa, I never could have moved beyond the anger, sorrow, pain of my past and avoided the bitterness and vindictiveness that surely awaited me. Don’t get me wrong, there were many joys and good moments in my past, including many as a member of the ICC. I just couldn’t hold on to them while holding on to the other thoughts.

Everyone used to say that their spouse was ‘really their best friend’. I knew that this was a required sentence in order to get permission to continue dating and get married. However, it really is true for Laryssa and I. She is my best friend and I am completely and hopelessly in love with her.