I’m having one of those weeks where everything is difficult. Too many things are broken with the Pension system at work and I can’t fix them. I’m just frustrated. Too many details with the wedding, Alsa won’t configure on the laptop (What do you mean run ‘amixer’ at the prompt? I’ve emerged everything ALSA and it says “amixer not found”), too many ideas running around in my head in regards to church and roleplaying stuff. It feels like so many things at once.
Jump on a horse, Mongo, this merry-go-round is just starting up.
It’s not that I don’t enjoy having a lot going on, but it seems to be backing up and I don’t have the time to release it all. I really want my laptop to work, I really want to figure out the groomsman attire, I really want to finish the Prophets of Old article and start on the Foundations of the Faith series. Last night was supposed to be a time to work on one of the two articles, but nothing got done in those areas. The good news is that I got firefox installed on the laptop and Shane and I worked a bit on a neighbor’s computer. I feel like the night was a total loss even though it wasn’t. Laryssa was there for me and kept me from exploding.
But I know that something else is wrong because I can’t relax. I’m having one of those Romans 7 days where my thoughts and actions are completely the opposite of what I want to do. My mind has gone to all kinds of dark places that I wish weren’t there in my heart. It’s not anything uncommon that I battle against, but that is not comforting. When I get weary, everything is a difficult struggle and adding these thoughts doesn’t help at all. I want to scream (and I did earlier).
Romans 8 is the answer to this, but right now it is not helping. I’m not able to hear when there is so much I feel that I need to say. I think I just need to unwind. To this end, I’ll start a few ideas just to get them out of my mind.
This is the part where I notice that I’ve had too much coffee. The good news is that it wouldn’t have been possible to have this much coffee without the fantastic shopping of my rommate. It was good to grind some coffee beans, fill the kitchen with the smell of just-ground coffee, add way too much Coffemate(r) Amaretto…
Anywho, some ideas in random order are forthcoming, that’s enough for now to enable me to stare at COBOL for awhile.