When an unclean spirit goes out of a person, it passes through waterless places looking for rest but finding none. Then it says, ‘I will return to the home I left.’ When it returns, it finds the house swept clean and put in order. Then it goes and brings seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they go in and live there, so the last state of that person is worse than the first.
Because this blog is a place to work out my thoughts, friends and family can get concerned that I am in misery all the time. No one has said anything about it to me, but in thinking about the above verse this morning and Colossians 3:1-2, it seemed important to work over in my mind some other areas of my past. Deprogram is an evocative word, but there are others, so I wanted to write about them as well.
brother
My brother is a strong individual physically and emotionally. From an early age, he has always sought to protect me from a lot of things (family strife, bullies, weird teachers, etc). He was (and still is) aware that I bring some conflicts on myself. He would tell me when I did, but he still defended me, even when I was clearly wrong. It’s not that he’d defend my actions, but he would always keep others away. He played line in high school footbal, so I have always seen him as a blocker for me.
There’s a reason that he is the best man at my wedding. It’s not that we talk all the time or that we are overly emotional. I don’t get to see him much when I am home and sometimes we have to deal with family conflict instead of just talking. But we are there for each other, it’s just the way it is. It doesn’t have to be discussed, reviewed, retaught, or reminded: we are brothers. It is simply a fact that our love for each other doesn’t ebb away over time, even though I am 1700+ miles away. It is a great comfort to know that our relationship will never change.
Proverbs talks about a friend that is closer than a brother and I believe I have finally found that friend. Along the way, though, I have found a precious few that are as close as my brother and I. My long-lost roommie in NC is one (Kurt) and Brian Broom in Okinawa is another. Of course, my current rommate, Shane, should also be included. He and my brother hit it off so well when they met that the family asks about ‘Junior’ when they call. When I think of these three, I remember some good memories of being a brother and feeling like a brother.
One time I was troubled about some crazy thoughts in my mind, so I went over to Brian’s dorm to talk about them with him. At this point I should add that it was about 3am when I decided this. I called him from the phone downstairs and said that I would like to talk as I am feeling overwhelmed. He had said “Ok” meaning “I’d love too, when do you want to talk later today?”. After he said “Ok”, I replied that I was downstairs waiting. We left Sullivan dorm and went down to the railroad tracks to talk. I believe that it would be more accurate to say that this was a three hour monologue. Brian listened the whole time. When I was done, he hugged me and thanked me for trusting him with my heart. I remember seeing the sunrise over the tracks thinking that I really could start over and that my Christian life was not a complete waste.
Now, he never complained about the hour of the call or even commented in joking that I put him through the ringer that morning. He has said, though, that he didn’t understand quite a bit of what I was saying. He told me that after my ‘beautiful moment’ watching the sunrise. That doesn’t matter to me. What matters is that he was there for me when I needed him and I have never forgotten that. It had helped me have faith for over a decade since that morning.
He was also there for me when I was put on Move-In Status. For those that don’t know (or believe that it never happened), move-in status was a probationary period for members that moved from another congregation. The person on this status was not a member of the church, but could enjoy the privileges of membership. I had been away from the church for quite a while (see deprogramming part 2) and this was seen as a safety precaution for the rest of the church. Basically, I had to demonstrate that I was a disciple (notice the lack of htpd). It was a scary time for me, but the staff member I was working with and Brian truly believed in me.
I remember Mike (Gambeski) talking to both of us about how we could help each other and explored if Brian would be a good discipler for me. I really thought that Mike was going to say I had to have someone else; our reasoning of why we were good for each other didn’t sound like a good enough reasons to me. I was quite relieved when Mike’s only response was “this could be interesting, but you two are obviously close and that’s all that matters.”
Brian believed in me the whole time and told me so quite often. I went through six months of trying to prove to Mike and myself that I really was a Christian. Brian reminded me that I had nothing to prove to him – and that was greatly comforting. I was very anxious, but Brian always stood up for me. It was also during this time that Brian’s only rebuke to me was delivered.
What do you mean you’ve never heard of Goodberry’s?
When I first got to Omaha, I immediately looked for a place that served custard. There is nothing like a Chocolate Matled Concrete from Goodberry’s, but Culver’s can close pretty close. I pass by Culver’s pretty often and I think about Brian when I pass by.
Now as far as Kurt goes, there’s too many memories to work through here. Besides, you should ask him – he’s better at telling the stories. Let’s just say that I tend to add a small amount of the dramatic element when I tell them. You know, though, the Quest for the Shoney’s(r) is a good story and I think I can get it mostly right.
You have to understand that Kurt and I have been on and off roommates for many, many years. He was a college rommate of mine at the “Brothers II” place off O’Kelly street. Being the twin snorers, we were banished to our own room. Of course, the duct work piped in our cacophonic symphony directly into the other bedroom, so Bill would sleep right outside our door in the hallway. He said it was the quietest place in the house.
I used to have these two foot long pillows that I called my PR Ddevices(tm). PR stood for pillow rebuke. I had this perchant to hit people with the pillows, especially because they were long enough to go around corners. One day when Kurt was not in the best of moods, I took it upon myself to cheer him up with a good pillow strike to the face. He was sitting in the chair of power(+2) about to play with the three remotes when I launched my assault.
In looking back on the incident, I have to say that I was quite fond of poor judgement in those days. Kurt had no trouble pointing out the folly of my actions and suggesting alternate methods to entertain myself. That’s one of the things I’ve always loved about Kurt, he had a way of bringing me back to reality in a very firm, honest, and direct way. Dude, I love you, but I still laugh until I cry when I think about how mad you were after I hit you.
Maybe the Shoney’s(r) story can wait for now. I’ll be sure to mention it later, it was a bonding moment for all time. It’s true my memories with Kurt are different, it’s not like he wasn’t there for me at all over the years, he truly has been. It’s just that I remember Kurt as my brother quite differently. I think it’s because we shared a common weirdness. I still have the Hero Machine on my Windows parition because it’s just that cool. However, after the Red Fist of Vengenence(tm), I decided that my superhero creation days were pretty much done.