I was apporached today to write a set of concerns about the Unity Agreement. The initial question was, “How do you feel about the direction of the church?”
I was honest - my only real concern at this point is that we signed the UP. However, I believe the leadership is doing the best they can to take care of folks, find a new minister, and provide direction for the church. It’s why I keep attending and giving contribution when I can - I want to be with these people. I enjoy the community and I want my son to be like the good qualities in the folks I know here. This church also provides spiritual stability for my wife and I’m glad she is beginning to experience community. I’ve been called an adopted son-in-law today, in addition to other nice things like ‘first-time father’. (My wife is the adopted daughter).
We discussed it for awhile. I wish people were not hurt by the decision I made about my membership, but I understand why they would feel that way. I don’t fault them for that. I feel terrible about it myself. I keep praying that I am not doing the right thing so that I can just say, “I’m being pig-headed” and go back to the way things used to be.
There was no condemnation, but a very reasonable and heartfelt exchange. I didn’t get angry, though I did get sad. I do not like seeing a friend hurt. I do not like feeling like I am the cause of it, especially over a piece of paper.
To this end, I was asked to write a list of greivances. That part was pretty easy and we even agreed on a couple of issues. I’ll provide the list sometime soon. Because this is something more or less official, it won’t be of the diary-quality stuff I write here. I record my thoughts at one given point in time here. This will be the serious version and not the I-can’t-believe-we’re-returning-to-our-own-vomit version.
I’ve since learned that one church that recently was recorded as a signing church was nearly split in half over this issue. There appeared to be no neutral ground. The resolution involved at least one Big Name(TM) that isn’t a part of the Gang of Nine. The solution was to sign the UP, but produce a list of caveats and issues. That is, in essence, what I have been asked to write.
I don’t know how that was neutral ground, but if it worked for them, I hope it will work for me. Then again, no one said for me to write this and then reconsider my membership. I hope for the best.
Comments
5 Responses to “A Set of Concerns”
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- toeteaknow: well, since it was a post, the answer I guess is ‘yes’ and not ‘maybe’….. …maybe not? ttk
- pinakidion: what rock said
- Rock: “Is Pinakidion ever going to post again?”
- salguod: Is that an answer to a question that I missed?
- xray342: How’s this for cryptic? $ echo ‘pinakidion’ | md5 16da6556b9ba8a411a6f4251591eae2b
You put feelings into words very well. I look forward to your thoughts on the subject.
It’s not that, but thank you. Being a diary, entries here are sometimes contradictary. Sometimes, they do not show the evolution of thoughts on a topic unless I post multiple times. Also, I try to express more of the emotion here. So my posts tend to be about the outrage and frustration. I dunno, just felt the need to make that distinction.
Hi Pinakidion,
I feel your pain. My advice is to remember that your congregation, by signing the agreement, didn’t cease to be children of God. They are still your brothers and sisters. They likewise need to remember that, by objecting to signing, you didn’t cease to be their brother. Little things like a piece of paper don’t change the reality of our mutual adoption by God, and they shouldn’t be allowed to interfere with the relationships between us.
Alan
All of that is very true. Thank you for the advice.
Fortunately, it is still that way. I teach the 3rd and 4th graders this summer. I speak from time to time. The couple that adopted my wife when she moved here calls me ’son-in-law’ and calls her ‘adopted daughter’. All of that is good for both of us and it is why I still attend here.
Thanks again.
When you originally made your decision, I neglected to point out that the concept of Membership In A Congregation is itself somewhat dubious. You certainly never read in the NT about anyone Placing Membership anywhere.
Semi-funny truth: Laura and I never Officially Placed Membership here in Albuquerque. But this is who we’ve “thrown in” with. I could argue that you’re as much a “member” there as I am here, since you are clearly an integral part of the ekklesia there, no matter what stand you might take.
Oh, is an antonym of “pig-headed” “lemming”?
Also, you really don’t think we’re gonna let you drop this “sign the UP, but produce a list of caveats and issues” bomb without even a hint of who you’re talking about, do you? Especially since the Q&A clearly said folks with caveats and issues shouldn’t sign…