I am a little sad to be missing MOAC 2004. However, it’s the best thing to do for me. I have to choose what I’m going to give my energy to, and spending my time butting heads with some and laughing with others is too much of a rollercoaster for the kid. Really, I’d like it, but I’d come home so stressed I couldn’t see straight.

32 days until the wedding and I am still excited. I love the pre-marriage counseling we are getting and I think it shows a tremendous change in thinking from old ICC pre-marriage counseling. IN the old days, it was about making your wedding an evangelistic event. The entire church was invited and you got free help with everything. It’s interesting that the topics of the old way were basically the same, but the execution is so much different. Talking about expectations of marriage now is Laryssa and I communicating with each other. Under the old system, it was a chance to be told what was important and why. Talking about budget then was to make sure you were giving 10% and staying out of debt. Now, it’s just a way to keep out of debt. There are more sessions, but I think the point is made.

Having a safe place to discuss things frankly and openly is a truly wonderful experience for me. Being able to discover what’s right for us with guidance (not dictation) is really helpful to us. I was nervous about it and thought about NOT having the ‘pre-marriage counseling’, but I’m glad I did. It’s not because it’s a throwback to the old ways, and it’s not because I enjoy finding the good in the way we used to do things. I do not believe that there was anything good about our old system because our old system’s fundamental principle was flawed. What I have found and been reaffirmed in, is that there are good and wise people. Good and wise people know when to push, when to pull, and when to do nothing. I get tempted to believe that because I come from a bad system that no one can be good that has survived that system.

Don’t get me wrong. good people + bad system + bad theology = evil. Bad systems and bad theology corrupt character and thinking. The system and theology still need to change. I’m just glad to find people that have overcome a bad system and bad theology.