It’s not that I haven’t been reading 1 Thess. I have read it several times. I just need some time to write things down that I have not had lately. I look forward to taking advantage of a men’s retreat to do just that.
Aside from 1 Thess, though, I need to pray through my circumstances. If I have learned anything thus far from 1 Thess, it is that the Thessalonians knew what it meant to be in difficult circumstances. (Huge understatement). Paul didn’t talk to them about having Joy in all circumstances, instead, he told them to hold on. He reminded them of the justice of God and that Heaven awaits all believers.
This is encouraging to me as I have had the ‘joy in all circumstances’ verse shoved at me for most of my Christian life. It was presented in a way that was designed to eliminate criticism, not provide comfort as Paul did.
So off I go to a small town about an hour south of here. I wish we were going to Villisica, IA again. I enjoyed walking out a ways to a small riverbed where I have prayed in two previous years. I hope I can be alone in our new place - that is what I crave the most. It has been difficult to ‘be still and know that I am God’ and I have sung Be Still my Soul so much that I do not have emotion left to react to its words.
It’s not that I am feeling low - I am feeling burdened. My credit is shot from the medical (and gas) bills I cannot pay on time. That means we cannot get a house and may have trouble moving out from our substandard house. We do not have money. Were it not for the kindness of my church, my son would not have hearing aids. We barely have anything else. I am frequently tired. I am worried about one of the applicants for our lead minister vacancy at my church. I feel disconnected from my son. I am about to start a second job. I am straddled with a car I cannot get rid of. My son does not like wearing the hearing aid and I am scared that he is going to break it. I am gaining weight and my health is suffering again. More than anything, I feel powerless to change my present circumstances.
All of these things are just normal life. I know people with worse problems, I am not the only one to have them. The thing is that my present cicrumstances are getting to me despite renewed efforts in Bible study, prayer, and other spiritual disciplines. I know, a good time with God doesn’t get rid of your problems. I don’t think that. It’s just that time with God provides perspective and encouragement, not solutions. I will always have problems (watch it Shane). They will never go away, just change as my son grows up, my marriage changes, I change, my environment changes, and so on. Since I will never be problem-free, the real search is for hope, faith, and love. Too many times I am looking for hand outs, solutions, and determination.
Sometimes I think too much, so I thought I just needed some fun. Tuesday we rented Madagascar and I loved it. But it is not recreation that I needed this time - this one will only come out with prayer and fasting.
I hope for a great weekend. See you on Monday.
Comments
5 Responses to “Going Out”
dude i would not kick you while you are down. i will help you up and then trip you. but i here you man. i know the feeling like the world is closing in around you from all sides. you know what i have gone though in the last few years with the kids, there mom’s family, jobs, school, dating, the business, etc etc. but all in all i will be there for you and i also am concerned about the new minister, who ever God brings us.
Later
Dude, I know you wouldn’t do that.
I just realized that I was leaving myself wide open. You know, “I will always have problems…”
On reflection, maybe I’d be opening myself up if I said, “I will always have issues”.
We’ll both be okay, I do not doubt that. Just need to get outside and alone now. I used to be able to do that when we were roomies. Now, as you well know, it is a bit tougher.
Keep everybody straight while I’m gone. See you Sunday - I get to have fun with the communion.
Two words - West O.
try
“BIG ‘O’ IT’S SHOW TIME”
cast in the name of God, Ye Not Guilty
I feel for ye. I’m also hurtin’ for ye. Moreover, I pray for thee. I think that discouragement is the demon of the day. Many brothers that I am in contact with are feeling much the same, including me! Thanks for sharing!
I am so there that it’s not funny. One of us has been sick every weekend. Money’s tight. I’m in one of the most serious crises of faith that I’ve had in my life (on going for at least three months). I don’t feel that prayer is relevant to me. I struggle with how we’re raising our children. I’m emotionally disconnected (except for anger, I feel that fine). Call me some time dude.