But I’ve decided that the President’s approval is so low, he should just aim for zero. A co-worker and I struggled to figure out how this was even possible. It seemed that doing nothing would make some people think better of him. It also seems that any action that upsets one constiuency(sp) will please another. After much thought, though, we propose the following agenda to acheive single-digit popularity ratings:

1. Build a wall between Siberia and Alaska for security.
As part of a Homeland Security Initiative, this wall will serve to keep out terrorists that attempt to walk across the Bering Straight to infiltrate our country. Once in Alaska, a prospective terrorist would only have to make their way through Canada to reach the lower 48.

This would upset Russia, Alaska, and Canada. It could also potentially upset Native Americans.

2. Join the EU.
Tell the world that we are abondoning the dollar for the Euro in two years.

This will alienate the Religious Right, any economist worth his/her salt, Europe, China, Japan… Basically almost everyone.

As a coup de grace, we figure that the last resort is simply to immediately kill Medicare and Social Security, but require all current workers aged 18 or older to contribute until they die.

Just goes to show how difficult it is to go lower than 30% approval rating. Picking on a reporter with visual problems can almost get you there.