I had some time to think through what I am feeling. I’ve also had a chance to talk to others. Tomorrow night is a big deal for our church, so barring any suprises there, I believe I’ve come to grips with this present crisis.
Background
I’ve looked for the history of accountability partners and the like. The Catholic church had spiritual minders in the 5th century, but the minders were imbued with authority. I wanted to look at the history of the kind of mentoring relationships that Purpose-Driven churches, Promise Keepers, Campus Crusade, and others use or have used at one time. John Wesley had a group 200 years ago – he ended up having conflicts in managing the various small groups and became an overseeing evangelist in a way. Outside of that, the first mention I have seen comes from Watchman Nee. Born in 1920 in Mainland China, Nee believed in spiritual authority from teacher to student. I must confess that my knowledge of Nee’s works is too rusty to explain here.
After that a little book called Operation Timothy written in 1970 by Connecting Businessmen to Christ. Formed in 1930, they continue to be devoted to one-on-one discipleship. If you read their plans for 2006, it is eerily similar to the Evangelization Proclamation.
I have this book – it is a series of twelve studies to help a new Christian, something made very clear in the book. Since the original, book two has been published dealing with finances, marriage and other things. Again, the focus is on new Christians, though as a movement, they have increasingly become definied by their one-on-one discipleship lifestyle. Before drawing too many parallels, their National Director, Patrick O’Neal, makes $37,500 a year. They manage about four million dollars a year in donations – considering they have 18,000 members, that is not very much. (For you old schoolers out there, that’s $222.22 a year per member or $18.51 per member per month. Under our old financial policy in the ICoC, this would have been below poor.) Suffice it to say, I do not believe that they are after money.
After Operation Timothy, I found discipleship partners again in the Shepherding Ministries formed by five prominent charismatic leaders, Derek Prince, Don Basham, Bob Mumford, Charles Simpson and Ern Baxter (also in 1970). They broke up in 1985 after charges of abuse began to surface. Bob Mumford still runs LifeChangers. Charles Simpson runs his own publishing site including a magazine called One-to-One. The other three men have since passed on. For all their work, it seems their organization, besides creating a firestorm, burned out after 11 years.
Then, I found where Campus Crusade picked up the mantle. The ICoC picked it up from there. Other organizations abound that extol the virtues of one-on-one discipleship as a means to grow into maturity. I discovered that this concept is not unique to the ICoC subculture, but has been in America at least since the late 60s. (Unless you count the Methodist movement in America.)
I thought that surely such an obvious concept has been taught through time. I seached the entire works of Spurgeon – nothing. Calvin? Nothing there, either. C.S. Lewis? As one man said, “Lewis understood that discipleship is a matter of faithfulness in the undramatic episodes of life”. You could argue that Tolkien and Lewis were accountability partners of a sort, but it would be more accurate to say they were friends.
But the Bible Says…
What is the value of a two hundred year old commentary? You can easily see what your society and culture try to add to the Bible. You can also see what the past culture tried to add as well. With almost two thousand years of Christianity, there may not be any new insight, but there is a lot of insight to discover.
So I looked up Col 3:16 and Eph 5:19. These stalwart verses of “one-another” relationships should have something to offer in the old commentaries. However, it’s not there. No mention in Matthew Henry, JFB, Barnes, or others of one-on-one partners to teach and admonish each other. Tretullian shared about Col 3:16 in the context of the Sunday love-feasts. Basically, he, or another person would sing a hymn or share in other ways to the assembly. Seems a far cry from a justification for personal minders, especially for one so close to the original church.
Tired of Bashing Discipleship
I decided that I need to stop bashing discipleship. Sounds strange, but it sure sounds like I am, doesn’t it? Truth is, I do not bash it at all. When I lost weight, it was because I met with a support group every Saturday morning. Having to weigh in put pressure on me to make healthier food choices during the week. I never would have accomplished very much without the support of a great bunch of men. The accountability of sharing my struggles gave me the courage and strength in weak moments to make good choices. I have always been grateful to them and the man that lead the group.
You know, there’s no qualifier coming in this paragraph. I started making bad choices again when I left the group. Food is an area of my life that is so weak, that it will require some kind of structured disciplined plan to change my habits again. I do not have the desire to do it on my own. I’m sure that there are areas of our lives that feel the same.
What I learned is that my group was a tool through which God could work. Hold on, do not get ahead of me, here. I’ve not sold-out in any sense of the word. It was a tool that helped me overcome a very difficult area of my life. It’s success, to me, was based on the fact that there was a way to measure progress, an encouraging group of men in a similar situation, and the group was voluntary and temporary. The forced Weigh Down group I was put in a few months earlier did not help me because it was not really voluntary. I was assigned that group by the Sector Leader. Because it was not voluntary, I also believed that it would not be temporary. No matter what, it felt like a losing proposition. I was basically told that I was fat and that I couldn’t do anything fun until I learned some self-control.
What’s the Catch?
It appears that this notion of personal disciplers is a modern one. So what in modern society would produce this idea? Something pretty basic, our individualistic culture. Our American society is overwhelmingly geared around honoring the individual. You can say what you want, sue whomever you want, and basically do what you want. Legal precedent and legal precedent continues to affirm to that an individual person has the right to do whatever they want, when they want to do it.
In Christianity, this can appear with a great loss of the sense of corporate worship. There was recently an article about a growing number of Christians that do not attend church. (couldn’t find the link) Distaste with organized religion is the primary reason given for non-attendance. Considering Paul’s words about the church, and yes, the one-another passages, it is important for Christians to regularly meet together. This doesn’t mean that there are creative ways to meet together, just that dissatisfaction with some of your brothers and sisters is not reason to forego church altogether. Find a church somewhere for your own good, not theirs.
In any case, the sense of individual relationship with God has been so over-emphasized in this country, that men and women are looking for coaches, mentors, bosses, or any other person to help them with their personal relationship with God. The primary goal of a Christian is not the constant measuring of your relationship to God, your amount of sin, or the personal enrichment activities that make up your Christian walk. The Pharisees made up all kinds of rules to hedge themselves in so that they would not go beyond God’s set boundaries of right and wrong. This zealous focus on acheiving something for God as an individual is the same kind of thing. It is good to fight your sin. God says be holy as He is holy. However, your progress as far as your personal purity doesn’t save you from lust, adultery, or any other sexual sin. The blood of Jesus saves of from all sin, even after our baptism. Having a coach to keep you accountable on weight goals doesn’t save from gluttony or give you any self-control. It is the Spirit of God at work within you that accomplishes that. Call it what you will, d-partner, encouragement partner, prayer partner, whatever – it is still only a tool.
You Had Me for a While, but You Lost It
Here’s the stuff that is more personal to me.
Making d-partners a condition of membership is wrong. It’s like trying to play golf with only one club. The right tool for the right job is a simple concept that most anyone in construction understands. Discipleship is not much different. Paul said that each man should build with costly stones, not hastily with straw. I believe a partner is the right tool in some situations, specifically for new Christians. However, the goal of maturity is to distinguish right and wrong through constant use, not create a co-dependent soul that cannot make a decision without advice. A d-partner is not the right tool for everyone, simply giving it a new name and saying “play nice” is being disingenuous.
The purpose of a d-partner is to accomplish a specific goal and to be accountable to acheive that goal. An open-ended d-partner without a specific objective harms both people. It isn’t really designed for that, especially within the ICoC subculture.
I’m still upset that because a few people asked for d-partners, the whole church has to go through this. D-partners are fine, why did the whole church have to get involved? Find someone and be patient with yourself. Instead, there’s a bit of a concern on the part of a few members and some are simply doing it because it was presented to them to do.
It’s not a condition for membership in my church, so I’m staying. I do not agree with what is being done, but for now staying is more worthwhile than leaving. Is it silent assent? Maybe. Human beings are not rational creatures despite all protests to the contrary – we are emotional being and we live by making emotional decisions. I’ll deal with the feeling of compromising my principles the best way I can.