You know, I’ve had a chance to listen to several messages from Chicago. The ones I’ve heard have been really good and I have enjoyed them. I especially enjoyed Dr. Reese’s exposition and lesson and I wrote him personally, to tell him so. I have craved hearing that kind of message in content and presentation. I also enjoyed Steve Staten’s presentation and I appreciated the five things he believes and all his work in meeting with people to work things out. You know, there’s saying words to weigh in your opinion and then there’s flying to talk to Henry and to Thomas and to others. That kind of thing is something that can build trust in me personally, so hearing those messages are a tremendous help to me as I continue to heal.
I also enjoyed Gordon’s message as well. I have to give him credit for the leadership book he wrote with Wyndham Shaw. To be banned in San Francisco and privately derided is a tremendous risk to do the right thing instead of ‘tow the party line’. I don’t think that Gordon would say anything about the details of various reactions to the book, but I will. He took a lot of flack for that book from so-called leaders and World Sector Leaders and THE leader.
Another thing about Gordon’s message that I could understand and hold onto was the conditioning effect of culture. Things are done without question because that’s always what’s been done. Seeing a topic or issue in light of a philosophy instead of an assumed ‘right’ way of doing things is important in future discussion.

All in all, a nifty conference. I’m still glad I didn’t go, my upcoming marriage is simply more important. A part of me wishes that I could’ve gone because the big issue for me is trust. Trust is built by many things, one of them being time spent with others. I spend little time with some of the folks making grand pronouncements and I probably should. We’ll see what happens at the next Great Paperchase(tm) in Rome. I look forward to going and I can’t back out of it as I have already paid for the plane tickets and conference fees.

In listening to these messages, I believe that I have come to understand some of what my big issues with changes in our fellowship and the future of the so-called ICoC.

1. There are lots of words and few actions.
2. There is searching to understand things that have been obvious for quite some time.*
3. There is a perceived effort to be at peace first, unified second, then try to solve problems last.
4. A perceived reluctance to outside perspective.
5. The perceived search for global answers instead of local answers.

I think the first one is self-explanatory. We (me included) all love to talk and write and talk some more. At some point, though, talk should cease and actions should be taken. It’s seems that the talk is an effort to do the best right thing, but instead we are doing the worst NO thing. I believe that I personally can feel safe in my present church because there is an inherent understanding that is stated: ‘We will try many things and see if they are the best thing.’

My congregation is small, it’s easy to do this. Larger congregations, though, are by necessity more conservative. Who knows, maybe the answer for larger churches is to become several smaller churches.

I put an asterisk on the next point because this could just be me. In the messages I heard so far (there are more than those I listed earlier), I sense this search for an answer to “Why did all of this happen?” Henry said some things that were very true and the members of several churches knew it. Someone in leadership finally validated things we have seen and felt for years, so the problem was not us. In other words, the suspicions that something was really wrong about how we did things was not just motivated from an impure heart or impure motives. In essence, our consciences were heard for the first time.

Others have already done extensive research into our theological and structual shortcomings and strengths. Considering this body of work, it just sounds strange that various leaders would be surprised at what they are finding. It’s like the wheel is being re-invented over and over and my inital reaction is similar to “well – DUH”. For example, the militaristic structure and the lack of diversity in leadership styles seems quite apparent to me and those I know well. It makes me wonder just how insulated leaders were from what was really going on in our fellowship. To hear shock and amazement at things I’ve been living with for a decade feels like a waste of time. I know that it’s not a waste of time, though, because all of us have to come to grips in our own time. My time may be several years – sometimes I despair that it will be permanent.

The real issue I have are the priorities that I perceive in others. I firmly believe that if we try to make changes, peace and unity will follow. It is hard to see that everyone is trying to fight all the battles that could possibly come up before a change is implemented in a vain attempt to make changes go smoothly. Most of the reactions I read affirm unity, praise peace and minimize differences by using the word ‘challenging’. This could just be me, again, I’m working out my thoughts and feelings, not proscribing a course of action to save our fellowship. My goals are not to be unified above all else. We can have perfect unity and still have bad doctrine and worse structure. We had the closest thing to ‘perfect unity’ before and the results of that are well-documented. I do not want to be at peace by being nice and accepting those different than me – not before some real change is implemented. I live my day to day life accepting people where they are at and assuming nothing from them. Ask my fiancee, my friends, my minister, and my co-workers. I truly believe that I have to earn someone’s trust and respect, I do not demand it. All of this, ‘be at peace with each other’ stuff just sounds like be nice. I don’t want to be nice when things are still broken and people are still hurting and shattered. I can’t be nice when future disciples live through the things I went through even AFTER all this talk of change. It just seems like a misplacing of priority.

It’s truly simple to me. If we learned how to do church and manage people the way we did, we can change old habits and practices into new ones. It took time and effort and a different culture to change our pre-church methods to the methods we used for so long. It took a change of influence from pre-church friends and family to new friends and family. Why is it so hard to believe that we change from military style of leadership to servant style of leadership by getting new friends and family?

I’m guilty of trying to be global despite all my protests. I think that I am going to change focus. I’m not going to look to why did this happen in our churches. Instead, why did this happen in the Omaha Church of Christ. There’s too many variables and specific situations for a global solution. Besides, what works in one place, will not work in others. I think our theology needs to change globally, but all conjectures on polity should be kept local. How much better would a conference be if we stopped talking about the global event (HKL) and started talking about what we do in our individual congregations. Sparks will fly and all of that, but I wouldn’t consider it a bad thing.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that we still have former ‘Kingdom’ teachers and elders acting like it. They should act like local teachers and elders. Besides, it will allow the local congrgation to take care of themselves, like they should have all along. It’s not easy (I can attest to that!) but it’s all part of growing up. I have to give credit to Sam Laing, though. He hasn’t been doing much writing and speechifying about our global problems. When I spoke to him, it was about Triangle. Nowadays, he takes care of Athens and the AIM school. I’m sure he has opinions about it, I look forward to listening to his message on grace. However, he hasn’t set himself up publically as the next great hope, just as a minister taking care of his congregation, though he just so-happens to have a global influence.

Anywho, that’s what I working through in my mind. There’s still more. For example, discipling is a philosophy not a biblical truth, but I may never get around to writing about that. Too much to do at work and I’ve already taken too much time on this.