This past weekend, we had to wean our son. He weighed less a week ago than he did two months ago (one pound, to be exact). It wasn’t so much that he lost weight – it was that he was not gaining weight. Here he is, 11 months old and not gaining weight. I wondered if it was the Goldenhar’s or his reaction to our stress about the pregnancy or something worse.

My wife correctly figured out that although he was nursing every 45 minutes to 90 minutes, he was simply not getting enough nutrition.

She’s wonderful at stuff like that. Smart and pretty. I really lucky she still puts up with me.

So, we had to get him from nursing to at least a bottle. We decided to start on Friday afternoon had hoped it would only take the weekend. After all, the saying goes that when he’s ungry enough, he’ll eat.

The first eight hours was all that it took for him to understand that he was not going to nurse anymore. We spent the next 28 waiting for him to accept eating something else. This twenty-eight hours included his first real spoken words, Mama. (His first sign was milk. What can I say, he likes to eat.) We also stayed up all night, tried all manner of comfort and encouragement, the typical things. I got the distinct pleasure of him screaming at me for three hours straight. In the end, though, we woke up Sunday morning and saw that he was drinking from a sipee cup. He’s been doing it ever since.

While I held my son, I realized that there was no way on earth for me to communicate to him that everything was going to be okay. I had no way that he could easily understand for me to say, “look here, drink from this cup.” I also understood it was the best way for him to wean, despite the medical pressure to do so.

I didn’t get upset at him, how could I? He’s a baby. Despite the great mental prowess he’s shown so far, he’s still not able to understand spoken English like an adult. It would be cruel of me to expect him to react like an adult or even to keep telling him to drink from the cup. All I could do is comfort him as best I could, keep offering the cup, and hope for the best. I knew he would eventually do it, I just didn’t enjoy the process. I’m one of those softies that runs at top speed to get him whatever he needs (and sometimes to get things he wants).

I thought about how God feels about us when we just do not understand. I used to think that he’d cross his arms and keep checking his watch wondering when I’d understand. Of course, since he’s Love, he wouldn’t really yell at me. But somehow, he’d be disappointed the entire time. I imagined him half-joking to the other angels, “Finally he got it, I wasn’t sure he’d get this one!”

There are some things that just have to be endured. Sure God is sovereign and he can just fiat the solution. ZAP! Here it is and quicker than a microwave. POW! The miracles are just raining down. I wish it could be that way for everything, but God never promised instant gratification for our every whim.

More importantly, I don’t believe that he is tapping his foot, impatient with us that we are not taking the next step on our journey. He is not standing there pleading, “For the love of me, just do this simple thing!” If I, a sinful man, can look at our son in love and accept him for who he is while completely believing in him – surely God can do the same, if not more.

This is an image of God I like because he is not some Santa Claus god, or a permissive god, or a god that is as subject to creation as I am. No. He is deliberate, loving, faithful, and most of all, present. From my perspective, all I can do sometimes is demonstrate that I am angry and frustrated and sad. He knows that sometimes I cannot or will not understand no matter what He says. Instead of getting angry, he looks to comfort, offer, and wait. The expectation hasn’t changed, but he’s not going to give up because He always trusts.

Wade Hodges has said recently in a sermon that we sometimes do not experience God because we are impatient with Him. I’m certain that I am, especially with some of the church drama. I can shake my fist and demand that justice is served NOW! But God knows what lies in store. Here He is, comforting, offering, and waiting in love.

In 1 Corinthians 11, God is described as being always faithful and always trusting. I understand better what that means. More importantly, I felt God for the first time in a long time. Not an emotional response or a good feeling – I just felt Him closeby.