Having four days off, I spent some time thinking about what I think of God and how I treat Him. Because of my spiritual heritage, I always this nagging doubt that I am not doing something right. To that end, let me say that this will not end by a rededication to God and a pledge of more time and/or better quality of time with Him. I am determined to be transformed by the renewing of my mind (Romans 12:2). In part, that means breaking thought patterns that lead me away from God. It is because of the sacrifice of Jesus that I can approach the throne of God with confidence (Heb 4:16) not the quality and/or quantity of my time with him in the past.
But I digress.
In thinking about God, I realized that I have treated God in different ways throughout my life. Some of these ways have a good intent and a kernel of biblical character to them, but somehow got twisted just a little. I attribute this twisting to my own character and conscious choices as much as anything else. Here are some of the strange ways I’ve thought about God (and sometimes still do) :
- God is my dog.
- God is my Santa Claus.
- God is my warden.
- God is a stand-up comic.
God is not my Dog
Dogs are known for many things, but their chief virtue is loyalty. I have seen dogs loyal to people that treated them in some really bad ways. It amazes me that a dog can wag their tail and run to meet their owners without regard to past treatment. (I even wrote a short story about it some time ago called Damascus.) In short, a dog seems to be always happy to see you in any situation.
Many dogs are also sources of comfort. A dog will listen to your problems and say nothing in return. A dog will express affection. A dog allows you to give it a hug. A dog will not nag you about eating an entire quart of chocolate ice cream. A dog does not criticize. Even if a dog makes a mistake, they have a way of looking remorseful that can melt away anger. Studies show that dogs have a positive effect on health and quality of life. It’s no wonder: they are great companions.
It is biblical to see God as both loyal and comforting. Paul’s second letter to the Corinthians is all about the God of all comfort. God has compassion for his people. He really cares. When you are distressed, He is the source of comfort. It is incredibly reassuring, especially when troubles have come up in my first year of marriage, issues with my church, family dramas, and the like. God is the one that stands in the empty places of my life providing the reassurance I crave in those times.
However, because the literal voice of God doesn’t answer from the clouds, it is also easy to see him as a dog. Unlike a dog, God has something to say about my life. In Hebrews 12, He says that discipline is not always pleasant, but that it is for my benefit. The New Testament is covered with instructions and models of a righteous life. Paul says to run the race of life as if to win (1 Cor 9:24). Jesus, Himself, said to love God with my entire heart, mind, soul, and strength and love others as myself (Mat 22:16). A dog only wants a little love every once in a while – and that is where I can get into trouble.
More than that, though, it is sometimes a stuggle for me to see that God owns me, not the other way around. God doesn’t need anything from me(Acts 17:25). He doesn’t need me to feed him, provide shelter, or give him obedience training. Sometimes I have seen my time with God as doing Him a favor. I can rationalize that God needs time with me because he is somehow worried about me if I don’t spend time with Him. God has great love for me and he cares for me, to be sure, but he doesn’t greet me with big sad puppy eyes and an accident on the carpet because I’ve been away for a couple days. Again, God delights in me and took special care when he created me in my mother’s womb, but my time with Him is for me, not for Him. (In many ways, it is like the sabbath; the sabbath-rest was created for humans, not humans for the sabbath-rest.) I believe He enjoys time with me and even laughs with me about some of my personality quirks, but he is not a needy pet craving attention. He can get along perfectly fine without me or my opinions on how the universe should operate.
God is not My Santa Claus
There’s a Christmas play I used to watch that had a unique twist on A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. There was a theme of being a Santa Claus to someone and that everyone needed a Santa Claus. I am certain that the intent was to express care and concern for others, but my view of Santa is a bit unorthodox. Santa keeps a naughty list and a nice list and you do not know which one you are on until you wake up Christmas morning. Santa does not want to be seen giving you good things or giving you a lump of coal – it’s all in secret. Santa flies by night. Santa shows up at the last minute to ask me what I want, even though he’s been watching me in secret all year – shouldn’t he already know what I want? Again, this is just me. I realize that the intent of Santa is not to analyze him this way.
However, because I can see Santa this way, it ties in to how I have looked at God in the past. As far as presents go, it similar to the first point. The only difference is the idea that God will give me good things for being on my best behavior. In essence, good behavior equals good gifts from God, bad behavior equals a lump of coal from God. Unfortunately, there is only one judgement from God, so if I look at God as Santa Claus, I have to wait until the Judgement to see if I get a lump of coal or not.
I get anxious sometimes that I am not on God’s nice list, or worse, belive that I am on the naughty list. Compounding this anxiety, I have no real way of knowing which list I’m on. (Am I really one of the elect?) This leads me to try and do a lot of nice things so that I can comfort myself that I am really on the nice list. Worse yet, I’m not really certain when the good that I do will counteract whatever I did to be on the naughty list in the first place. Unfortunately, all this effort to be ‘good’ comes from a desire to make myself feel better, not God. It’s like praying publically with eloquent prayers, I will have already recieved my reward, a patched-up sense of self-esteem (Matt 6:5). The good news is that God gave me the greatest gift when I was His enemy (Romans 5:10). When I was quite obviously on the naughty list, he gave me the sacrifice of His son.
The other way I can see him as Santa, is that he never really gives anyone a piece of coal. Sure Santa keeps a naughty list, but that is for the really, really bad people like Idi Amin, or Hitler, or Stalin. Since I am not as bad as they are, I must be on the nice list. After all, keeping 5 out of the 10 commandments is pretty good, right?
Trouble is, that sin separates us from God (Isa 59:2). It is true that some sin does not lead to death (1 John 5:17), but the flesh desires things contrary to God (Gal 5:17). Regardless of the nature of the specific sin, it is contrary to the Spirit of God. Sin stands in opposition to God and I cannot serve them both. It takes effort to fight against sin. I may be forgiven, but that doesn’t make my desires vanish. God wants to teach me to keep from making the same mistakes over and over. In other words, I am forgiven of the debt, now He is helping me deal with the consequences of my debt. It is of great comfort to be forgiven, but it is not an excuse to be lazy. As mentioned earlier, I want to run in such a way as to get the prize – not because I have to win, but because I want to win.
God is not My Warden
My wife used to work as a secretary to a warden. She couldn’t tell me a lot of things that happened at the facility, but some days we had a good cry together. Wardens see all the ugly things in a prison. They are not allowed the luxury of dealing with their own feelings until a solution is found. They have the keys. They determine the measure of freedom for each prisoner. They are the final authority and they are in control of everything at the facility.
A warden is also responsible for the rehabiliation of each inmate and seeks to help each one attain the skills he/she needs to be a productive member of society. They set up enrichment programs, arrange for work-release opportunities. Some even strive to fund a library and GED programs. In the end, no matter how benevolent the warden, no inmate is free – each one is subject to the authority of the warden.
Jesus has been given all authority (Col 2:10) by God who is beyond all authority and power. I believe it is important to be reverent to God because of his authority (1 Peter 1:17). Like Jesus, a Christian should live in submission to the Father (Hebrews 5:7). In my mind, there is no doubt of His power and authority over all things, even Satan and his angels. Where I can have an issue, is forgetting that I am free. I am also prone to forget that God hasn’t separated me from the world (1 Cor 5:10), he has placed me in the world to grow right where I am (1 Cor 7).