I’m 34 today.

I remember when I was about to go to college and I wondered what my life would be like. I thought that the year 2000 was so far away. I couldn’t conceive of what the 21st century would be like.

Thanks to my cousin, I grew up reading Ray Bradbury. I watched Star Trek and Dr. Who. I also watched the old Twilight Zone episodes in b/w. My vision of the future was shaped by many of those things. I still believe in the tremendous potential of tomorrow. I never thought the Klingons and the Federation would be allies, but wonder of wonder, they did.

I started programming computers (if you can call writing in BASIC programming) at age eight. I still fram on them twenty-six years later. I tried to write short stories at age eleven and I still try to write them. I created an entire universe on Airport Rd complete with pro football teams from Jupiter, Vulcan Jedi, and a desert planet with vast oceans just a few feet below the surface. Today, it’s a variation of the Roman Empire.

Over three years ago, I moved to place where I knew absolutely noone. I jumped in the car and drove here, planning on finding a hotel once I got here. I had no other real plans, but I felt free for the first time in a long time.

Now I am married and have a beautiful son. I have friends, one of which told my wife that I saved his life. I have a good friend that puts up with me and all my grand schemes of our business. I have a wonderful wife that plans and schemes on my behalf. She loves me with all her heart.

For my birthday this year, I wish for nothing more than to remember the good things in my life everyday.

A good friend once told me that I have an old soul. I believe that to be true. I believe I aged four to one beginning my second year at NC State. There are too many things to count to recall them here. I do not believe, however, that I have had more difficult experiences than most. I do believe that I have been blessed with truly unique memories. I wouldn’t trade them for the world.

An ancient Eqyptian blessings says, “May God stand between you and harm in all the empty places where you must walk.” At times, I feel the emptyness. At other times, I feel the shadow of the Almighty upon me. Sometimes I am haunted by the shallow echo of my own footsteps, other times I see my Father defending me (and winning).

As with most things, I feel conflicted. Looking at the next 34 years of my life, I cannot guess at what lies ahead. My view of the future is quite hopeful, despite my fears. Whatever happens, I know I am not alone, even if I feel it…

…and that is the wellspring of my life.