I’ve felt somehow conflicted lately. No surprise.

I feel 80 million times less stressed now that medical issues with our children have run their course. Yes, my son will be short. I am short. Yes, he will be moderately deaf. Yes, she had seven surgeries to her nose.

But it’s done and my wife and I have felt a great weight lifted.

Being in crisis mode for this long, though, has taken its toll.

I struggled mightily at the birth of my daughter. I didn’t struggle with church, or the UP, or work. I struggle with the big question, why. I found an answer that serves for now. But after finding that answer, there wasn’t much left to do anything else. In some ways, it’s like Elliot Ness. After Capone was gone, then what? He went on to do many things, but none as fulfilling as locking horns with Capone.

Not that I was going after God for tax evasion (though one of my senators tried to issue a cease-and-desist order against Him.), but more like a lack of direction. I could actually get serious about theological training. I could just read and pray as I try to always do. I could do a lot of things.

So that’s why I say more is coming, though I don’t know what it is. Should be interesting, no?