My friend Neil is dying. At this point he has about two to three weeks. He has complete renal failure and now a blood condition will not allow him to get dialysis. Even a kidney donation at this point will not help. I would have gladly given him one.

I spoke to him yesterday and he is surrounded by friends. An elder is managing the 24 hour schedule of who is with him at all times. Lots of church friends are there. I’ve spoken to folks that I haven’t spoken to in over a year – I wish we had spoken sooner under better circumstances.

When I spoke to him, he said that he was blessed that he had opportunities to say what needs to be said to everyone. He said that he was glad to be able to say goodbye. We spoke of our mutual respect and friendship. We recounted the days of the two of us travelling all over – I never knew which was of us was the sidekick even though I always drove. We talked about the blessings of life and family and many other things.

And then he said, “Goodbye, John”.

I had hoped he wouldn’t say it and I have cried every time I think about it. It wasn’t the “talk to you later goodbye”, though we will talk more this week. It was the terminal goodbye.

I have no fear of seeing him in Heaven – even if my perspective may be different. But I do grieve the loss of my friend. A eulogy will come later, but as he is not yet dead, a review of his life feels premature. What I will say is that I am very sad that I cannot be there, but very happy that we can talk and be there for each other one more time. I think of Heaven and how he will no longer be limited in his body, although he never really allows it to limit him now. (okay, I know technically he’ll be in Paradise, suburb of Sheol awaiting the last day and the final resurrection, but you know what I mean). Anyway, I feel conflicted as always – happy that he will soon be home and sad that he is leaving. In some ways, I look forward to him meeting Malcolm Ryan. They will hit it off really well, I think.