Some time ago, a friend of mine explained his spiritual life in terms of the seasons of the year. I have found it true in my life and I hope it may help in yours:

After summer, when the leaves fall and all prepares for a winter sleep, it is a natural time of reflection. The winter brings a time of rest – a time to pause and catch your breath. The springtime is a new birth and allows you to start fresh. It is a time of new ideas and planting. The summer is the time for harvest, a chance to reap the benefits of the work of spring. With the summer harvest taken in full, the Autumn allows for reflection, as previously stated.

In many of the years of my life, I have strived to live according to this natural pattern. Living out here in the Midwest where the seasons are more pronounced, it has become more true. In the wintertime here, people stay home. It makes sense, who in their right mind is out in below zero tempatures? The whole city takes a rest. In the spring, everyone goes to the many parks and enjoys being in the sun and being active. All the outdoor sports leagues start up and golf courses fill up with tee times. Outdoor theater begins later in the season, but look to garner donations throughout the summer. There are farms in the middle of the city, and you can see the equipment working all summer. It’s truly fascinating to see the cycle of the seasons in my new home.

Technically, though it is offically winter, I am still reflecting on this past year. I look for areas of joy and sorrow. I look for areas of strength and weakness, but overall I look to see the places along the way where God has been there with me. I’ve made quite a few mistakes and I’ve had quite a few victories. Beyond all of that, though, I want to be someone and I look for what God has in store for me.

I’ll make a comprehensive list later, but when I think of the good things this past year…

• I proposed to and married my best friend.
• I was nominated to be a deacon of my church.
• I have been given respect by my peers.
• I have been helpful in restoring Christianity, removing Churchianity, and abolishing McKeanism in the church I attend.
• I have discovered what it means to be believed in.
• I have found more peace in my heart, mind, and soul than in years past.
• I have become less afraid to speak my mind (and I don’t mean this blog).
• I have lost over 20 pounds in the last three months and I eat a much more heart healthy diet with less fat and more vegetables.

When I think of the bad things this year, I think about…

• The lack of any real change I see in other ICC congregations.
• My friends that I have lost touch with through my distractions and obsessions.
• The mistreatment of my sister-in-law.
• The times I’ve overreacted to Advisory Group topics of discussion.
• The War in Iraq
• My lack of consistency in all areas of my spiritual life.

Of course, there’s more on both lists. I continue to reflect and plan. I hope for a great 2005, not in a pep rally sort of way, but in a new future. I want to be a better, more godly man. I want to be a great husband. I want to help my church evolve into something healthy and life giving. I pray for long-term success and real paradigm shifts in thinking. I pray for more connections to the community around us. I pray my wife will truly use her God-given gifts to the full. I pray I can finish my fantasy world and write a novel in that setting.

All in all, I reflect so that I can look to the new year with hope.