Ahmad is a very friendly man with a good memory. Three months ago, I went into his resturant for the first time. It turns out that both our wives are expecting around the same time. He also assured my wife that “the spices are good for the baby”. I don’t know exactly when, but around 15 or so years ago, Ahmad came to America from Iran. How he ended up in Omaha, I don’t know, but he loves his little cafe in the Old Market. From his little stove, he fixes the finest food of any kind. He even makes special orders for gluten-free, diabetic, or food allergies.

And he loves people of all kinds — one of those people is my wife.

I was on the neverending quest for a parking space and gone for twenty minutes. Despite the full resturant, he spent some time with her asking about the baby. When I finally arrived, you would have thought I was the President or Rafsanjani or some other important dignitary.

After we talked awhile, he greeted his upstaris neighbors (there are apartments above his cafe) and they all knew each others’ names. Our waiter came out shortly after – he explained how to eat the Tehran Chicken I had ordered. With Saffron, Lime, and 12 spices, I wasn’t sure there was a wrong way, but I followed his advice.

In any case, my wife and I had a chance to take an emotional timeout. We didn’t talk about the baby or the house or the neighborhood we live in or the church or our recent breakdowns. We sat outside eating Persian food drinking ice water from sweating blue goblets. We talked about books and poetry and why we fell in love with each other.

I am a driven person. For this reason, I recognize things like the Purpose Driven Church(R) as more marketing than spiritual. This is also the primary reason that I can get ‘hung up’ on a specific topic and post about it for days after it has ceased being relevant. I usually choose to see the positives in my drive and use words like: tenacious, determined, steadfast, and the like. However, there are some thing for which no amount of drive will be of benefit. One of those things is a relationship with God. You cannot earn your way to God’s approval before or after your conversion. Another of those things is the relationship with a spouse.

I have been so driven to meet all her needs, that I have been missing the primary need: enjoying her. I think of 1 Corinthians 13 as a parallel. I could write the greatest epics describing my devotion, but without love, the words would fall to the floor like lead. I could put her in a mansion with servants, but without love, it would only be a monument to her loneliness. I could provide specialists, nutriontists, and all kinds of health professionals available at a moment’s whim, but without love, her heart would starve and wither away. I’m not saying that I do not love my wife, but if she doesn’t feel loved, I might as well have lived in another state.

So yesterday, she felt loved and so did I. God granted me peace through his daughter and my wife.

Praise be to God.