January 2007 began with a focus on RM unity and the hopes of an August 2007 unity conference. However, it was not meant to be. August was a bad time for many. ICoC support was minimal. RM support was strong only if it could be located in Dallas or Nashville. The ICoC(Community) church in Nashville agreed to host the event. Organizers hope that it can happen in 2008.
However, efforts began to meet with a CoC in town. Ultimately, efforts with the North Omaha Church of Christ and the Southwest Church of Christ panned out.
In my life, I discovered that out of 100 common allergens, I react to almost 50 of them. It was cold here, so I froze a gallon of Ice tea. At that time, I was posting game stuff here, but it’s been copied over to the other site.
The most powerful thing about January, though, was living a parable and being tempted to be the bad guy in the story. I’ve never seen anyone else involved since that day.
February was slow. We had a snow day at work which means my usual rant about designated personnel. I linked to an interesting article about not doing megachurch anymore. I also mentioned James Cameroon finding the Tomb of Jesus’ family.
The church I attend did meet with the North Omaha Church of Christ and we were received warmly. More on that soon.
March saw the post from my experiences with the NOCoC. I still laugh when I think about hearing the Kingdom study preached at us in such a way as to say that we were Almost Christians. We had a good time, but nothing much came of the meeting. I promised to follow up, but was unable to do so.
Per usual, I groused about the UP. I won’t link to those because it’s pretty obvious by now. However, I also began talking about a computer project at work as well as other projects. The computer project stalled on Internet connections. Lenga is all but finished. The Hebrews classes went very well and I enjoyed teaching them. As an aside, this is also the first post when I mention Dancing Bear as the online code phrase for our second child.
We had two major events occur on the same day. My wife had a unique baby shower and her grandmother transitioned to the grave. My wife still misses her grandmother. I still hug my kids every night.
In a sign of things to come, I ask for prayers. This will lead to deepening issues in my life and ultimately to seeking treatment for depression and post-traumatic stress disorder.
April started off with the tail end of Teach Week. More than anything, though, my wife and I were excited about our second child due about the middle of April. This lead to the infamous Baby Pool. Dee, a co-worker, won with her prediction of 4/19 at 5:26 am. Dancing Bear was, in fact, born April 18 at 11:00pm. Her subsequent surgery was a success and I expressed much thanks to you, my online friends.
Looking back, this was the beginning of my declining mental health and faith. I do not believe that I have gotten over spending more time in the NICU or the eight surgeries that followed on Dancing Bear. Her last one was in October and we found out just before Christmas that it was probably the last one for her. Anyway, I have not really been the same since and it shows in what I chose to write about and the increasingly angry tone that came across.
My wife began to dream of building community and I joined in with my own thoughts. Little did we know that the sense of community would come to fruition with the beginning of the Nebraska chapter of Hands and Voices. We are still working to get things going. Next month will be the big kick-off.
In May, I talked about professional help in a private post that I accidentally published. Thanks to everyone that sent me encouragement after that post and to TTK that sent a great book to us. In general, I tried to use Mathematics to occupy my time, as well as the ICoC(SODM) and ICoC(CoOperating Churches). I decided to stick with math.
In the end, though, I enjoyed (and still enjoy) better living through oat rings. Brother Bear has expanded to concept to include grapes, crackers, and milk, but its still a lot of fun.
In June there were only three things of note. One was the series of articles by Roger Lamb comparing the ICoC history with the great Chicago Fire. I was mentioned indirectly in once of the articles, so I responded with the same non sequitur he asked me. The second event was a long post on Intelligent Design.
However, the one with the most far ranging effect was the first lolcat style post. Now, lolcats and similar pictures adorn almost every post. It is a disease, I know.
July saw the beginnings of work with the Southwest Church of Christ. We had a VBS with them. Later, we’d have service and a teen event together.
I spent a lot of time thinking about the Next Big Thing in religion. Despite this post and this post, I don’t think I ever got a clear idea in my mind until I saw the Unconference a few months later. I also defended my wife’s honor at a breastfeeding conference in Lincoln. Other than that, I enjoyed vacation and yet more math.
August was the bridge collapse in Minneapolis. We had a few tense days not hearing from some of my wife’s family and friends. Everyone that she knew was okay.
Lolcats posts started appearing, much to the dismay of my brother from another mother. I think my addiction at this point was beyond hope.
I delivered communion at church about Grace. Thanks to mrtool for recording it for me.
The end of the month saw the comprehensive history of the UPC, tracing its origins from 2003. One day, I hope someone more official can fill in the missing gaps.
September came with more difficult news about Dancing Bear. However, it turned out to be better than the doctor originally thought. She would not need a stent. We also discovered that Brother Bear does not have Charge Syndrome. We celebrated that news by dining out that night.
However, the same meeting made it obvious that one or both of us have a genetic issue that would lead to choanal atresia in any child we would create. The most likely culprit was me and I have a choanal stenosis (blockage) and similar genetic issues as Brother Bear. (Lack of sinus cavities on one side of my skull and other things.) I decided to have a vasectomy as soon as I could. No sense in spending yet more time in a NICU. No sense taking chances on what could be worse issues with a third child. The uncertainties were too great. The next day, my wife and I spent some time mourning that we would have no more children. We always wanted three.
This was greeted by my family as an attempt by my wife to control me. All they could ask is why she wasn’t getting fixed and why do the doctors think its my fault. They have since stopped saying these things, and I am grateful. They did, however, agree that two was plenty enough. All of us are grateful that we have one girl and one boy. They are wonderful children.
I also managed to scattershot some ideas, including hands and Voices. This lead to Mark putting me in touch with the New Mexico President of Hands and Voices. We have since met with the Minnesota President, the Colorado President, and plan on meeting with the Iowa President.
Of course, I have to mention this: KHAAAAAAAANNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!.
October had a few interesting items of note. Alan wrote about the UPC and submitted it to DisciplesToday for consideration. Instead of being considered, it generated hard feelings and libel from the editor of DToday. In the end, Alan was a class act the entire time. His apology was published. Roger’s was not. Alan’s original article was never published either.
Adventures in Unity part Two happened this month. Southwest and Omaha Churches of Christ had service together. We were welcomed as family and fellow believers. It was a fantastic time had by all. Later we went to their teen event.
Lots of other ICoC stuff happened. Not much new except the ICOC Hot News appeared. They made a big stink about an article in the Daily Trojan and won. No word on any ruckus raised about an article at Rutgers. I was wrong about this one. I thought the attention would backfire. It would take an article criticizing Raul Moreno to generate backfire, though it came from Kip.
It was also my wife and I’s third anniversary. We had a quiet dinner and great conversation. The best two gifts anyone could have. My wife is truly wondering and continues to tell me every morning “I believe in you.” I am blessed beyond measure.
November’s big event was the Naming Ceremony for our children. The church I attend allowed us to basically take over the entire service. Brother Bear didn’t have a good time, but everyone else did. The day before was a great time of family, food, and fun. It was the first time everyone had been together since the wedding. I was surprised to see my niece there. We had everyone there except my brother-in-law’s new son.
The other big event was a trip to Minnesota. All the children and grandchildren on my wife’s side of the family were in one place at one time. There is photographic evidence of five children (all under 3) sitting together nicely.
Where It Is
Eventful, no? This doesn’t even include turning 36 or Christmas, both fun events.
Months of therapy later, I am functional and somewhat able to handle things as they come. The main thrust of my counseling is akin to “taking every thought captive” through a cognitive approach. It means a few overall changes that have helped some thus far.
The number one change is having more fun. I am having more fun. I got an Omega Chess set for Christmas that I love. I play Statis-Pro Football online occasionally. I design a few games now and then. Brother Bear and I spend about two hours a day together alone. (Dancing Bear and I get about 1.5 hours).
Number two change is being more active. I have been irregular with workouts. They are generally an hour long with most of the time on a bike. I always feel good the day after a workout. In January, I should be able to go everyday again from 5:30 – 6:30 am.
Number three change is removing certain things from my life. The financial strain of our first two years of marriage has eased considerably. We are able to do some special things and my wife can actually shop for a few articles of clothing for herself. Thanks to my wife’s hard work, we are down to one bill for Dancing Bear. This was after a 5% decrease in pay because of an increased pension contribution. (I had no choice.)
I’m also removing the ICoC from my life. I went to Delphi one last time last night. Then I removed all bookmarks and links to anything remotely ICoC. I haven’t read DToday in a few days. I try not to read HotNews or even MissionMemo. Over the next few days, I hope to eliminate all of them from my routine. I know, pass the popcorn. Like Arnold, I’ll be back. Maybe I will. I hope not.
I really hope not.
Even with these changes, though, the one big issue still remains: the succession of NICU visits. None of these changes address the fact that I am still upset that both children have genetic issues. None of them address the anger that I am somehow genetically defective and can only have children with worse issues than what I have. This is the biggest battle and it won’t go away with changes to lifestyle. Like Jesus said himself, some demons only come out through prayer and fasting.
The Future
The future is the quest for an authentic faith. I want to read the Bible and not see the ICoC/RM theology in every verse. I don’t want to see an theology in those verses. I want to hear the voice of God. I don’t hear Him anymore, though I know He hears me.
The future is having fun with a people over seemingly trivial things like chess, board games, and sports.
The future is seeing my children grow up. Dancing Bear will take her first steps in 2008. Brother Bear will start his first spoken sentences and first signing sentences. When the cold is over, we can all run and jump in the park. They will visit my homeland in March. I cannot wait for Brother Bear to see the ocean.
The future is community. I don’t mean just Hands and Voices, but building various interconnected communities. One is Hands and Voices, another is the family of faith. Yet another is the community of Benson, the area where we currently live.
Happy New Year!
I wish you a very Happy New Year. May God bless you and stand with you in all the empty places where you must walk.